


The Labyrinth of London: The Babe With the Power

by FarGreenCountrySwiftSunrise



Series: The Labyrinth of London [8]
Category: Labyrinth (1986), Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: A Scandal In Belgravia, Angst, Crossover, Episode: s02e01 A Scandal in Belgravia, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Jealous, Jealousy, Mystery, Romance, Slow Burn, flirt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-15
Updated: 2013-05-21
Packaged: 2017-12-11 22:13:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/803823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FarGreenCountrySwiftSunrise/pseuds/FarGreenCountrySwiftSunrise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After meeting his newest and most dangerous enemy, Jareth is put on the case to recover some photos taken by a Ms. Irene Adler. Unfortunately for Jareth, he has a bit of a history with her and Ms. Adler is more than willing to use that to her advantage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Every Thrill Is Gone

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Thin White Sleuth...](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/15883) by Pika-la-Cynique. 



> The Almighty Disclaimer  
> Oh Moffat and Gatiss,  
> Henson and Doyle,  
> To you belongs all the characters  
> And none so for me!
> 
> This story was inspired by "The Thin White Sleuth..." by Pika-la-Cynique (http://pika-la-cynique.deviantart.com/art/The-Thin-White-Sleuth-277488920) of Girls Next Door fame. 
> 
> The transcript is by Ariane DeVere aka Callie Sullivan (http://arianedevere.livejournal.com/26320.html).

The Labyrinth of London  
A Sherlock/Labyrinth Crossover  
The Babe with the Power  
Inspired By  
"The Thin White Sleuth..."  
By  
Pika-la-Cynique

Chapter I: Every Thrill Is Gone

&%&%&%

Sarah Williams was not a damsel in distress. Sure, she would occasionally be knocked out, shot at, and generally come to harm after a certain amount of time, but she did not wait to be rescued. Unfortunately, when dealing with a mad bomber who is obsessed with one's magical roommate and is willing to blow up your baby brother to get a meeting with said magical roommate, even the bravest of heroines have to learn patience.

"How did you get my old clothes?" Sarah asked as she held up her poet's shirt.

"My dear, I hit the Labyrinth in ways that have not been done in at least 300 years. Having someone steal your clothes and a few items from your family is child's play," Moriarty said. 

"Turn around. I'm not changing in front of you," Sarah said.

"You think far too highly of yourself, princess. You do absolutely nothing for me," Moriarty said, "Besides, it wouldn't be the first time I have seen you with a lack of clothing."

"Bastard," Sarah said.

"I prefer villain, if you don't mind my dear. Don't forget your sisters' silly bandz."

%&%&%

"I bought you a little getting-to-know-you present. That's what it's all been for, isn't it? All your little puzzles... making me dance. All to distract me from this," Jareth said.

Moriarty said through the ear piece, "Walk slowly. Say exactly what I say."

Sarah opened the door and walked carefully, scared to breathe. She tried hard not to look at Jareth. He was hurt. There was nothing she could do. She could not break. She had to act. She said her lines. She did her part... until she ran into a small problem.

"You forget, Goblin King, you have no pow..." Sarah tried to say the words but her jaw was snapped shut. _Oh God. He's going to kill us. He is going to kill us._

Jareth grinned. "Such a pity you know so little about magic. Sarah can say those words to me if, and only if, they apply to herself. She cannot say those words for anyone else."

Moriarty said through the ear piece, "Damn you. Don't say that. Say the following."

Sarah was able to speak again. "I can see how this girl can turn your world, Goblin King. Nothing works right when she's around. I was planning on this game a little after the cabbie game, but then Sarah Williams, Champion of the Labyrinth, shows up and ruins everything."

"Who are you?" Jareth asked.

A door creaked open. "I gave you my number. I thought you would call." 

Sarah paid some attention to the conversation. She mainly focused on how to take down Moriarty and get Jareth out of the building.

"Did he hurt you? Are you all right?" Jareth asked.

Sarah remained silent, biting her lower lip. She was fairly certain she could not say anything without permission.

"You can talk, princess," Moriarty said, half-whispering in her ear.

Sarah resisted shivering at the closeness between her and Moriarty. "Piece of cake."

"Take it," Jareth said, holding out the flash drive.

"Oh, that? The missile plans," Jim said, taking the flash drive, "Boring. I could have got them anywhere." He tossed the plans into the pool.

 _Opening. RUN!_ Sarah ran forward and held onto Moriarty. "Jareth run!" she shouted.

"Oh, good! Very good! Glad to see you've trained her by now, Jareth," Jim said, "'You have no power over me.' What an absolutely rubbish way to lose your throne. I'm glad you got something out of that mess by now."

"Now listen here, Jimmy. When my brother was taken, I tore apart a kingdom and usurped the Goblin King. He didn't harm my brother. What do you think is going to happen to you, Gremlin King?" Sarah said.

Jim merely nodded towards the consulting detective. Sarah saw a red dot moving across Jareth's chest. She immediately let Moriarty go.

Jim brushed off his suit with a look of disgust. "Westwood."

"I noticed. I like the little skulls on your tie. It works for the whole villain mystique," Jareth said.

"By all the powers that be, are you two forgetting I am wearing C-4 not as a fashion statement?" Sarah said.

"She is right," Moriarty said, "It might get a bit messy in here if you don't let me go. Do you know what happens if you don't leave me alone, Jareth? To you?

"Oh, let me guess, I get killed?" Jareth yawned. "How dull."

"Kill you? No, don't be obvious, I mean, I'm going to kill you anyway, someday. I don't want to rush it, though. I'm saving it up for something special. No, no, no, no. If you don't stop prying, I'll burn you. I will burn the heart out of you."

"I have been reliably informed that I don't have one," Jareth said.

Jim walked back towards Sarah. "But we both know that's not quite true. 'Till the world falls down' is quite a promise, Jareth. I can certainly put that to the test for you..." Sarah felt something catch in her throat when Moriarty said words from Jareth's song. "Well, I'd better be off. So nice to have had a proper chat after all these years."

Jareth held up his crystal towards Moriarty. "What if I was to end you? Right now?"

"Then you could cherish the look of surprise on my face," Jim made a mock look of surprise. "Cause, I'd be surprised. Jareth. Really, I would. And just a teensy bit disappointed. And of course, you wouldn't be able to cherish it for very long. Ciao, Goblin King." Jim made his way to an exit.

"Catch you, later," Jareth said slowly.

"No, you won't," Jim said in a sing-song voice. He snapped his fingers and then let the door slam behind him as he left.

The former Goblin King and the Champion of the Labyrinth did not move, even when they saw the snipers' lasers were gone. Jareth suddenly ran and slid to a stop in front of Sarah.

"Are you all right? Are you hurt?" Jareth unzipped the bomb jacket and pulled it off Sarah.

"I'm fine. I'm fine," Sarah said, staggering when Jareth ripped the jacket off and slid it across the tile floor. "Are you hurt?"

Jareth embraced Sarah and let out a sigh of relief. "You're asking me if I'm all right? After you were kidnapped by a mad bomber?"

"He won't kill me... yet. He wants to play with you. Watch you dance and writhe," Sarah said, "He won't kill me unless you can watch and it's slow." Sarah clung to Jareth and breathed in deeply his scent. _Stupid goblin. He is such an idiot. He should have just run._ "I'm really glad no one saw that."

"Wh...why precious?" Jareth asked. 

"You ripping my clothes off in a darkened swimming pool. People might talk," Sarah said, letting off a desperate laugh.

"People do little else, precious," Jareth said. He took a moment and breathed in the scent of her hair. "Let's go home. I am worried that he will change his... damn."

Sarah saw the red lasers appear again, only there were several dozen trained on them now. They both turned and the two stood back to back with Jareth facing where Moriarty had left. Sarah let her hand brush against Jareth's.

"Sorry dearies, I'm so changeable," Moriarty said, strolling back into the room, "It is a weakness with me, but to be fair to myself it is my only weakness. You can't be allowed to continue. You just can't. I would try to convince you. But everything I have to say has already crossed your mind."

"Probably my answer has crossed yours," Jareth said, holding up the crystal.

"Not enough magic to kill me and all my snipers there, Jareth," the Gremlin King said, grinning.

"But there is certainly enough to set off that bomb," Jareth said.

Jim continued grinning. "I double dare you, Jareth, to kill the girl who you twice gave up your kingdom for."

Jareth grasped Sarah's hand. He said quietly, "I'm sorry Sarah."

"There is nothing to be sorry for," Sarah said just as quietly.

Jareth squeezed Sarah's hand and she squeezed back. 

Music began playing. Sarah almost became hysterical when she realized it was "Stayin' Alive".

"Do you mind if I get that?" Moriarty asked.

"Go ahead. You have the rest of your life," Jareth said. _Thank God Jareth is not losing it like I am._

Sarah moved slightly to watch Moriarty. He answered his phone with annoyance. "Hello. Yes, of course it is. What do you want?" Moriarty mouthed "sorry" to Jareth and Sarah guessed that Jareth said something back 

Moriarty was quiet for a moment and then shouted, "Say it again! Say that again and know that if you are lying to me, I will find you and I will sssskin you!"

Moriarty was quiet for a moment and then put his phone away from his ear. He seemed downcast like a child spilling his ice cream cone. "Sorry. Wrong day to die."

"Such a pity," Jareth said.

Moriarty gave a small, chilling smile. "You'll be hearing from me, Goblin King." Moriarty continued his phone call. "So if you have what you say you have, I'll make you rich. If you don't, I'll make you into shoes." With a few steps and a snap of his fingers, Moriarty and his snipers were gone.

"Sarah," Jareth said.

"Run?" Sarah asked.

"Run," Jareth confirmed.

&%&%&%

Sarah and Jareth were bent over double, gasping for air about two blocks from the pool.

"What happened?" Sarah asked.

"Someone...changed his mind. The question is...who," Jareth said.

"Jareth... he took things from...my home. He took things from my sisters that...could only be taken when they were asleep," Sarah said.

"He's... not very nice... is he?" Jareth said. 

"I need... to call..."

"Home first."

"But..."

"Home. I will... pass out... soon."

"Tube."

"Cab."

"Damn it. Tube."

"Coward."

"Bastard."

"Right bastard."

"Damn."

&%&%&%

If it were not for the possibility that time was running out, Sarah would have not entered the cab. She clung to Jareth's arm and refused to let go until Mrs. Hudson opened the door to 221 Baker Street. "Sherlock called. He said that you should call him when you got back. He said it was important and about Sarah's family."

"Thank you, Mrs. Hudson," Jareth said. He walked over to the rotary phone and dialed a number. Sarah reassured Mrs. Hudson that the landlady could go back to sleep. "Sherlock? Oh. All right. Here, Sarah."

Sarah took the phone. "Hello?"

"Jareth is an idiot," Sherlock said, "Here is your father."

"Sarah?" Mr. Williams said.

"Daddy, you're okay? I mean, you are not under duress or anything?" Sarah asked.

"Sarah, everything is _peachy_ -keen," Mr. Williams said, "Your friends are a bit odd."

"Yeah. Sherlock and John are like that," Sarah said, almost collapsing from relief. Jareth rested his head against Sarah's shoulder.

"Are you all right?" Mr. Williams said.

"I will be, just not right now," Sarah said.

"Do I need me to kick someone's butt for you, princess?"

"No, Daddy. Just stay with the family and let Sherlock and John do their thing."

"All right. Here's your friend again," Mr. Williams said.

"Sarah, we will leave when the issues with our mutual friends down at the Lab are solved," Sherlock said.

"Thank you, Sherlock. Tell John thanks too," Sarah said.

"Were you..."

"Kidnapped? Yes."

"Is the bomber dead?"

"No."

"Jareth is going to make sure that statement is false soon."

"I know."

"Get some sleep."

"Unlikely."

Sarah hung up the phone. She turned around and hugged Jareth. "They're okay. Did you send the two of them over?"

"No," Jareth said, slumping against Sarah.

"Whoah. Whoah. Jareth? Jareth, I'm here. You need to get upstairs. Can you do that?"

Jareth nodded and the two of them struggled up the stairs. He collapsed onto the sofa and Sarah sat next to him on the floor, resting her hand on his heart. She told him what happened and what was told to her by Moriarty. Jareth sat up after Sarah was done and sighed.

"I did not think he was this stupid, Sarah," Jareth said.

"I know," Sarah said.

Jareth began untying his shoes and tossing them across the room. 

"What are you doing?" Sarah asked.

"Getting comfortable," Jareth said. He took off his socks and then leaned back on the sofa. "Moriarty is going to leave us be for a little bit. It will be several hours before we will receive news from the Labyrinth. I am going to plan my next move and I will be comfortable while I do it. You should go to sleep."

Sarah shook her head. "Not happening. Moriarty said... that he has seen me and... I know Mycroft isn't having my room watched but..."

Jareth pulled Sarah up on the couch with him. "I am here. Moriarty is not coming tonight. I promise. I cannot lie to you, Sarah."

Sarah nodded. She nestled herself against Jareth's chest and closed her eyes tight. "Jareth... Moriarty said that you lost your kingdom twice because of me."

"He did," Jareth said.

"How? I know that... I rejected you and that somehow took away power from you. I do not know how it could have happened a second time."

Jareth was quiet for a while. He stroked Sarah's hair as he spoke. "I was given a deal when I was removed from my throne. If I could avoid touching Labyrinth magic for thirteen years after you said the Words, I could have my kingdom again. It was... painful at times. There are reasons for some of the actions that I did. Some... illegal activities. Magic is a drug but sometimes you can get your hit from somewhere else."

"All right. When did you break the deal?"

"Two months ago."

"That's when the cabbie... you said I was hurt by the Labyrinth's magic."

"Yes."

"You were not allowed to touch Labyrinth magic."

"Yes."

Sarah sat up and glared at Jareth. "Why?"

Jareth did not look at her. "There was no other way to save you."

"Jareth..." Sarah said quietly.

"The Courts would have broken their promise anyway," Jareth said.

"Are you certain of that?" Sarah asked.

"No."

Sarah rested her head against Jareth's heart. "I am sorry. This is my fault."

Jareth kissed the top of her head. "There is nothing to be sorry for. Sarah, even if I just spent these two months together as friends, it was worth it."

Sarah closed her eyes again. She found herself being lulled to sleep by Jareth's heartbeat and the feel of him stroking her hair.

"Are you up for singing? I like it when you sing. You haven't sung for days," Sarah said, yawning.

"Always for you, Sarah."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snuggling! Angst! Sarah not being as resistant to the shippers! YAY! 
> 
> I have been looking forward to writing this one once I realized how to set up a certain character relationship. It terrifies me at the same time (particularly not making Irene Adler a completely unenjoyable character), but I am looking forward to writing this (particularly after the torture of writing "The Goblin Games").
> 
> Also, if you notice a grammatical/spelling error, do tell me. I will not be upset. I do not have a Beta Reader and I know I miss things.


	2. Chapter II: Forward Motion

Jareth was surprised by how willing Sarah was to stay with him. He had expected yelling and eternal damnation not apologizes and a request to sing. He was going to place her behavior under the category of shock.

As the hours passed, Sarah would wake up from her restless sleep and ask if Jareth was all right and if everyone else was all right. Sleep came to Sarah easier if Jareth sang, hummed, or simply talked. He was aware that Moriarty could be listening in on the conversation, so Jareth focused on reexamining the past few days.

At exactly 5:35 a.m., Hoggle stumbled into the living room. Jareth quickly motioned Hoggle to be silent before the dwarf made a protest. Hoggle glared at Jareth.

"Is she dead?" Hoggle whispered.

"Asleep," Jareth hissed.

Hoggle made a noise of disapproval. 

"The Goblin King?" Jareth said.

"Alive."

"Sarah's friends?"

"They're all right."

"Goblins?"

"Thirty-one dead."

Jareth nodded and gently rubbed Sarah's shoulders. 

"Precious, we have news."

"Call me precious one more time and I will end you," Sarah mumbled. She wearily rubbed one eye before opening it. She pushed off Jareth and landed on the floor with a thump. "Hoggle! You're all right!" She hugged the dwarf.

"Yeah, I'm all right Sarah," Hoggle said. Jareth began searching for his footwear.

Sarah said quietly, "Ludo and Sir Didymus?"

"Ludo is fine. Sir Didymus broke his tail," Hoggle said.

"What about the goblins?" Sarah asked.

"Thirty-one," Hoggle said.

Sarah turned to face Jareth, who was tying his shoes. "I'm sorry, Jareth."

Jareth shrugged. "Moriarty is going to die anyway."

"That's the name of the Gremlin King?" Hoggle asked.

"Yes. We have been dealing with him for the past few days," Jareth said. 

Hoggle crossed his arms. "He somehow broke the gate to the Labyrinth."

"Less than a day ago? Yes, we are aware that something of that magnitude happened," Jareth said.

"Chit-chat ain't why I'm here," Hoggle said, "I've been told to bring you back."

Jareth froze. "That is not humorous, dwarf."

"It ain't funny, rat," Hoggle said, "The Seelie Court Prince showed up and he wants to beat the tar out of you."

Jareth laughed, startling Sarah and Hoggle. "As if that little bugger could beat me. Come on. Let's go back."

Sarah stood up unsteadily and Jareth put his arm around her shoulders. "Are you all right?" Jareth asked.

"Tired and... are you allowed back?" Sarah asked.

"Well, just because the Courts said that I couldn't be king doesn't mean I was entirely exiled," Jareth said.

"So, be sneaky?" Sarah asked.

"Have you seen his entrances? That ain't gonna happen," Hoggle muttered.

&%&%&%

Jareth did not regret saving Sarah. He never would. That did not mean that Jareth did not miss his home. He missed the warmth. He missed the way the sun was hazy in the morning and clear in the afternoon. He missed being king... a little bit. The boredom was not something he missed.

The three found themselves transported to the entrance of the Castle Beyond the Goblin City. It was mostly cleaned up of bodies but the City was wrecked and many areas were leveled. The Labyrinth was smoking in some areas, but it did not seem as if anything was badly burned.

"How did Moriarty have time to mess with you when he was doing this?" Sarah asked.

"War is not that difficult," Jareth said, "The occasional brilliant sneak attack but otherwise, it is essentially two masses of living beings smashing into each other or one mass of living being smashing into a barrier to begin smashing into another mass of living beings."

"You sound tired, Lord Jareth," Sir Didymus said as he moved before the former Goblin King.

Jareth nodded to the knight. "I wish to see the Goblin King."

"Of course," Sir Didymus said with a bow.

Sarah hugged the small fox/dog. "Sir Didymus, will your tail be all right?"

"It is a minor wound, my lady," Sir Didymus said, "Ambrosias was quite brave and took down an entire platoon of gremlins."

"Only because you threatened to not feed him ever again," Hoggle mumbled.

&%&%&%

Christiana Rossetti was sitting on her throne, a large gash on her forehead. A man who was of a similar build to Jareth but with hair like Christiana was tending to the Goblin King.

"If you poke it one more time, I swear by all the powers that be, I will rip your hand off, Dante," Christiana said.

Dante sighed in frustration. "Chrissy, I have to heal it."

"No, you don't. I've got a healer on the way. 'Ello, Sarah," Christiana said.

"Chrissy?" Sarah said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Unfortunately, big brother privileges of torture," the Goblin King said, "Why the bloody Inferno are you wearing what you wore on your run?"

"The Gremlin King decided that I should play dress-up," Sarah said. She gently shoved Dante away from Christiana and began examining the wound.

"Do you know who I am?" Dante said.

"Some sort of prince. I really could care less right now. I have a patient to take care of," Sarah said.

Jareth snickered. "You should know that Sarah has little respect for protocol."

"I blame your influence," Dante said as he attempted to punch Jareth.

Jareth graceful moved away from the oncoming hit and deftly twisted Dante's other arm behind his back. "Now, what do you say?" Jareth said.

"Uncle?" Dante said.

Christiana laughed. Jareth let Dante go and ruffled his nephew's hair. "I did not cause this to happen by anything I did wrong. I did as the laws of the Labyrinth demand."

"What happened?" Dante asked.

Sarah said as she healed Christiana, "Jareth apparently took away a wish from a baby serial killer who is about Sherlock's age. Said serial killer somehow became the Gremlin King and has a lot of power in the human world as well. After playing several deadly games and attempting to blow up my baby brother, the Gremlin King decided it would be a good idea to kidnap me. Jareth decided to confront him, we almost got blown up, but someone made a phone call and stopped the Gremlin King. Does that sum it up, Jareth?"

Christiana raised her eyebrow. "A pure human is the Gremlin King?"

"Apparently. I did not sense a mix from him," Jareth said.

"A mix?" Sarah asked. She stepped away from the Goblin King and sat down at the foot of the throne.

"Yes," Dante said, "Sometimes, like in our family, humans are placed into positions of power but they are transformed partially into whatever creature they rule. We are part goblin and part human. Well, Christiana and I are more goblin than Uncle Jareth because our father is mostly goblin but... it is a long story. I have only a few minutes left here before I have to return to the High King."

"Jareth is a goblin and a human?" Sarah asked.

"I am a goblin who happened to have been born human," Jareth said.

"I really wish we could have Mummy tell that story," Christiana said. She sighed. "Romantic."

"Sentimental," Jareth said, obviously annoyed.

"Oh, right Mummy," Dante said. A plate of ginger snap cookies appeared in his left hand. "She said to make you eat some of these. She says you are getting too skinny."

Jareth rolled his eyes but took a cookie. (They were, after all, his favorite kind.) "The Gremlin King is a James Doyle, now going by Jim Moriarty. I removed his wish when he requested that I kill a child."

"Well, that was a stupid thing to ask," Christiana said. She got off her throne and took a cookie as well. "So, revenge?"

"That is a bonus. It is actually boredom," Jareth said.

"Oh good grief. Seriously? He's what? Thirty? And he's bored already? I was at least two hundred before I got bored," Christiana said.

"He is a highly intelligent, spoiled child with a knowledge of good and evil that he chooses to ignore for his own amusement, melancholic, suicidal tendencies, a flair for the dramatic..." Jareth said.

"So, you?" Dante said.

"Yes, exactly," Jareth said.

"You are not the same as him. You are good, Jareth," Sarah said.

Dante gave the plate of cookies to Jareth and sat next to Sarah. "Though I appreciate your vote of confidence in my uncle, you are a bit naive if you think that he is a good man."

Sarah glared. "I am afraid that we will have to disagree on that point."

"As interesting as a fight between the two of you would be, I need to know what happened here," Jareth said.

The Goblin King motioned around her with a sense of boredom. "The Gremlins attacked. Their king completely ripped apart the front gates of the Labyrinth. Some of them made it up to the castle when the Labyrinth was stunned. Most of the gremlins were stopped by the Labyrinth on the way to the castle. We killed off what little were left about an hour ago. Nothing very complicated about it."

Jareth looked out one of the windows in the throne room and frowned. "Christiana, are you expecting visitors?"

"None save you and Sarah," Christiana said.

"Well, kinsman, it seems the High King has decided to grace you with his presence," Jareth said. He quickly moved across the room, pulled Sarah to her feet, and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I fear you must send us away quickly."

"Of course," Christiana said. With a twist of her wrist and the quick toss of a crystal, Jareth and Sarah were back in 221b Baker Street.

&%&%&%

Jareth fell to the ground, unprepared for the shock of being removed from so much magic so quickly. Sarah was instantly by his side, taking his pulse. "What's wrong? What can I do?"

Jareth felt his heart begin to settle and he gently embraced Sarah. "Nothing, precious. You have done everything you can."

"What is the story between you and the High King?" Sarah asked.

"Many things. Let us just say that he is not actively out to destroy me as Moriarty is but he would have no issue with my death if it were to occur," Jareth said.

Sarah's shoulders slumped. "Did I... offend your nephew?"

"Dante? Ha! He has the thickest skin out of the entire family! He just likes you. That is all, Sarah."

Sarah sat up straight with a look of alarm. 

"Not as I like you, Sarah. He wishes you well and does not want you to be... persuaded by my acquaintance," Jareth said.

Sarah laughed. "I think you have thoroughly corrupted me already, Jareth."

Jareth did not smile but hugged Sarah gently again. "No, you have not. I wish it to remain that way."

&%&%&%

"They were placed here after the smuggler incident. I should have noticed them when I visited the other day. I was a bit... preoccupied when I requested your assistance," Mycroft said as he squashed a small camera with his umbrella.

"How many?" Jareth asked.

"Enough. They were mainly in the living room and the dining room though there were a few in Sarah's room," Mycroft said.

"Not mine?" Jareth asked.

"No," Mycroft said.

Jareth was quiet until he heard the shower turn on and he knew Sarah would not hear. "Mycroft, if you find that footage and destroy it, I will never complain about another case for you again."

Mycroft tapped his umbrella on the ground. "I would rather not have you explode, Mr. King. Let's just say you owe me one case if I find and destroy that footage."

"Deal."

&%&%&%

Sarah's scream awoke Jareth. He barely had the door to his room open when Sarah half-tackled him. "Are you alive? Are you okay?"

Jareth held her close. "I am here, Sarah. I am safe."

"You... you were at the pool and... there was blood and..." Sarah choked back a sob.

"It was a nightmare. It's all right. Nothing has happened," Jareth said. He kissed the top of her head.

"I haven't had nightmares since I slept in Baker Street the first time. They were awful, Jareth. I was going crazy. I can't go through that again."

Jareth sat with Sarah on his bed. He made her drink his untouched glass of water before allowing her to speak again.

"I'm so sorry for waking you," Sarah said softly.

"Go to sleep, precious. I'll stay with you."

"But..."

"I will be here if you have nightmares. Nothing will happen. I will be here for you, Sarah." 

Sarah nodded and curled up with Jareth's pillow.

Jareth muttered as he lay down next to her, "I wanted her in my bed but this was not what I had in mind..."

&%&%&%

This went on for a week. Sarah would wake up from a nightmare (generally about Jareth or Toby), Jareth would make sure she was all right, and then Sarah would fall asleep next to Jareth.

Once Sarah's family was home safe and Mycroft and the Goblin King confirmed that the Gremlin King was not going to be harassing the acquaintances of Jareth anytime soon, Sarah's nightmares stopped. This was a disappointment to Jareth until he realized something as he was going through his laundry.

"Sarah! Have you seen my shirt?" Jareth asked from his room.

"Which one? You have twenty that look exactly the same," Sarah said from the living room.

Jareth rolled his eyes. This happened several times over the next few weeks until one day Jareth noticed that Sarah not-so-covertly stuck one of Jareth's shirts into his laundry bin.

That night, Jareth stuck his head into Sarah's room and found her wrapped up in one of his shirts as she slept. Jareth never brought it up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst! Fluff! *feels all warm and fuzzy*
> 
> Glitter gift bags to anyone who remembers where Dante Rossetti was mentioned before in the series.


	3. Chapter III: Green Eyed

As Sarah made her way through Buckingham Palace, she decided that her life was decidedly strange and that she had no problem with that. It took almost eight months of living and working with Jareth to reach this point, but Sarah decided it was well worth it.

Once it was clear that Moriarty was not going to be after her family anytime soon, Sarah and Jareth continued working on cases (some against Jareth's will but for his better good). Rossetti and the other tricksters still showed up for poker on Wednesdays if there was not a case. Soo-Lin Yao had sent a wedding invitation which Jareth and Sarah attended with glee. Mrs. Hudson still fretted. Scotland Yard still had "unsolvable" cases (and one which Jareth honestly could not solve). Jareth had been discovered by the media at large when he solved a case and ended up tackling a murderer in front of several dozen journalists. Mr. Umbrella occasionally sent mysterious texts that made Jareth cackle. Jareth had not caught on that Sarah stole his shirts to sleep at night. Molly Hooper was doing better after finding out who Moriarty was. Sarah was working full-time at St. Bart's and was working on a Master's in nursing. Even the 13th anniversary of her run in the Labyrinth had not caused Jareth to angst too much. Overall, it was shaping up to be an odd, slightly dangerous, but pleasant year.

The current case that Buckingham Palace decided to remove Sarah and Jareth from was interesting, but not interesting enough for Jareth to leave the apartment. As Sarah was mucking about in the mud, a helicopter was brought in for her. She saw through the web camera that men in suits had entered 221b. Jareth rolled his eyes and Sarah could make out that he was saying, "Not again."

Sarah's guide motioned for Sarah to enter a grand waiting room. As she turned the corner, she saw Jareth sitting on a couch... in a bed sheet. Sarah made a "what's going on" motion. Jareth made an "I don't know" motion in return. Without another question, Sarah sat next to Jareth. She refused to look at him.

"You're not wearing anything under there, are you?" Sarah asked.

"No," Jareth said.

They looked at each other for a brief second and that was enough to cause both of them to laugh hysterically.

"What are we doing here?" Sarah asked.

"I do not know for certain," Jareth said.

"Are we going to be taken out back and shot?" Sarah asked.

"That would not go over well with the tourists," Jareth said.

"Tea with the queen than?" Sarah said.

Mycroft walked into the room.

"Close enough," Jareth said.

Sarah and Jareth started snickering again.

"Just once, can you two behave like grown-ups?" Mycroft asked with a sigh.

"We solve crimes. I blog about it. He forgets his underwear. We play a weekly poker game with two trickster gods, a servant to the High King, and the Goblin King. I wouldn't hold out too much hope on that Mr. Umbrella," Sarah said. She paused and gave a fake gasp. "You don't have your umbrella! THE WORLD IS AT AN END!" She dramatically threw herself to the floor in a swoon.

Mycroft looked to the heavens before picking up some of Jareth's clothes. "My men picked this up for you."

Jareth looked at the clothes and shook his head.

"We are in Buckingham Palace. The very heart of the British nation. Jareth King, put your trousers on," Mycroft said.

Jareth huffed, "What for?"

"Your client," Mycroft said.

"And my client is?" Jareth asked.

"Illustrious, though maybe not as much as your realm. And remaining, I'll have to inform you, entirely anonymous," a well-dressed man said.

"Good morning, Harry," Mycroft said.

"Good morning, Mycroft," Harry said.

"I apologize for Mr. King's temper tantrum," Mycroft said.

"This is him behaving, from what I understand," Harry said.

Sarah stood up and brushed her hands on her jeans. She held out a hand. "Sarah Williams."

Harry shook it. "Pleasure to meet you Ms. Williams. My employer enjoys your blog, particularly the aluminum crutch."

Sarah grinned at Jareth. He stood behind Sarah.

"You look taller in your photographs," Harry said.

"A good coat and a short friend help," Jareth said. He received an elbow to the ribs from Sarah.

"What's the job?" Sarah asked.

"Do not bother, Sarah. Mycroft, I do not do anonymous clients. I am used to mystery at one end of my cases. Both ends is too much work. Good morning," Jareth said as he walked away.

Mycroft stepped on Jareth's sheet, causing Jareth almost to give the fully monty. "This is a matter of national importance. Grow up!"

"Get off my sheet!" Jareth growled.

Mycroft said, "Or what?"

"Or I'll just walk away," Jareth said.

"I'll let you," Mycroft said.

Sarah pulled out her cell phone. "Jareth, if you don't mind facing this way, I'll record this for your fan girls."

Jareth grinned at Sarah. "I really doubt you want your family to see that on your blog. You should work on your threats more, precious."

Sarah stood in front of Jareth and put her hands on her hips. "Jareth, you would not allow this to happen in your kingdom. Why would you do this to another sovereign? Well, maybe that's not the best example. This particular sovereign has not done anything to you. Also, Jareth, tea in Buckingham Palace. Major bragging rights."

&%&%&%

Sarah savored the cup of tea as Jareth ignored his, focusing his attention entirely on Harry and Mycroft.

"My employer has a problem," Harry said.

"A matter has come to light of an extremely delicate and potentially criminal nature. And in this hour of need, your name has arisen, Jareth," Mycroft said.

"Why? You have a police force of sorts. Even a marginally Secret Service. Why come to me?" Jareth asked.

"People do come to you for help, don't they Mr. King?" Harry asked.

"Not to date anyone with a navy," Jareth said. Sarah giggled which made Jareth grin.

"This is a matter of the highest security and therefore of trust," Mycroft said.

"You don't trust your own Secret Service?" Sarah asked.

"Naturally not. They all spy on people for money," Mycroft said.

Sarah was briefly reminded of her first encounter with Mycroft and his offer of money. Now it made sense why he was coming to them.

"I do think we have a time table," Harry said.

"Yes. Of course," Mycroft said, opening up his briefcase. He took out a photo. "What do you know about this woman?"

Jareth took the picture with confidence but looked crestfallen when he saw it. He sat back. "You know that I know who it is, Mycroft. I can't take the case." He put the photograph on the table.

Sarah looked at the photograph and then at Mycroft. "Who is she?"

"Irene Adler. Professionally known as The Woman," Mycroft said.

"Professionally?" Sarah asked.

"There are many names for what she does. She prefers dominatrix," Mycroft said.

"Who is she to you, Jareth?" Sarah asked.

"A stupid woman," Jareth muttered.

"Jareth has her banished from the Underground about two hundred years ago for breaking one of the laws of the Labyrinth," Mycroft said, "The exact circumstances are beyond my clearance."

Sarah blinked a few times. "I thought nothing was beyond your clearance."

"I still have favors owed me," Jareth said.

"Wasn't she involved with that novelist and his wife?" Sarah asked.

"Yes, as well as two political scandals in the past year," Mycroft said.

Sarah asked, "Why would a Fae bother with humans? Surely if she needed clients there are plenty of Fae that come in and out of the human world."

"She is a leanan sídhe. They are highly attractive to humans and when they... interact with humans it is a mutually beneficial exchange," Jareth said.

Mycroft handed more photos to Jareth. "She has kept busy since you last shared a bed with her."

"How do you know that?" Jareth asked with a glare.

"You just told me," Mycroft said.

Sarah tried to unobtrusively look at the photos. Irene Adler was beautiful and the photos were... _interesting_ to look at. Jareth seemed mildly interested, which was more than Sarah had seen him show anyone besides her in eight months. It made her feel uncomfortable for some reason.

"I assume she has some compromising photographs," Jareth said.

"Yes," Mycroft.

"Photographs of whom?" Jareth said.

"A person of significance to my employer. We cannot say more at this time," Harry said.

"You can't tell us anything?" Sarah asked, "I'm going to guess Ms. Adler does not have a small collection. I think we are going to need to narrow the search."

The two members of the British government shifted uncomfortably. Mycroft spoke. "I can tell you it is a young person. A young female person."

Jareth smirked. "Well, that would certainly cause a stir, wouldn't it? How many photos? I am sure they are all creative," Jareth said.

"A considerable amount we are assured," Mycroft said.

"You may want to put up your tea, Sarah," Jareth said.

"Can you help us? Will you take the case?" Harry asked.

"What case? Pay her now and in full." Jareth leaned back into the sofa. "As Ms. Adler remarks in her masthead, 'know when you are beaten' gentlemen. Trust me, unless you have the devil in your pay, you will not be able to take this woman on. I really had hoped she had gotten more interesting with age." He covered his mouth with his gloved left hand and tapped his right foot with impatience.

"She doesn't want anything. She got in touch. She informed us that the photographs existed. She indicated that she had no intention to use them to extort either money or favor," Mycroft said.

Jareth seemed perfectly still for a moment and then he sat up, his eyes alight with mischief. "Oh, a power play. A power play with the most powerful family in Britain. Now that is a dominatrix. This is getting rather fun, isn't it? Ms. Adler finally has decided to be interesting again."

Sarah put her tea down on the table. "What? Jareth, what does..."

"Where is she?" Jareth asked. He took his coat and Sarah's hand, dragging her towards the door.

"In London..." Mycroft said.

"Text Sarah the details. I will be in touch by the end of the day," Jareth said.

"Do you really think you'll have news by then?" Harry asked.

"No, I think I'll have the photographs," Jareth said.

"One can only hope you're as good as you seem to think," Harry said.

Jareth looked over Harry for a moment before saying, "I'll need some equipment. Can I have a box of matches?

"I'm sorry?" Harry said.

"Or your cigarette lighter. Either will do," Jareth said.

"I don't smoke," Harry said.

"No, I know you don't. But your employer does," Jareth said.

Harry reluctantly handed over a box of matches. "We have kept a lot of people successfully in the dark about this little fact, Mr. King."

"I'm not the Commonwealth," Jareth said, his goblin grin showing.

"And that's as modest as he gets. Pleasure to meet you," Sarah said as Jareth dragged her out of the palace.

&%&%&%

As the drove back to Baker Street, Sarah got up the courage to speak to Jareth. "How do you know her? Well, you obviously know her in the Biblical sense but..."

Jareth raised an eyebrow. "Are you jealous, precious?"

"Me? What? No. I am just... Christiana mentioned once that there was a girl you invested with and..."

"Did Christiana say who?" Jareth asked.

"No. She said it wasn't her story to tell," Sarah said.

Jareth leaned over and whispered in Sarah ear, "I was young. I wanted an ally. It did not work out. I think she was involved with Moriarty's dealings a few months back. I know she wrote my name on the envelope. This is the perfect opportunity for me to question her."

Sarah nodded. Jareth stroked the side of her face and kissed her forehead. "Just play along and we will be done with this business by the end of the day."

"If you say so," Sarah said with a sigh, "Just know that if you feel uncomfortable, I will be more than willing to punch her to break the tension."

Jareth laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: _She_ has been revealed. Now we're going to find out about Jareth and Irene's history. Hehe. Sarah angst ahead.


	4. Chapter IV: What Kind of Magic Spell to Use?

Jareth was not worried about meeting with Irene again. He was worried about strangling her, but not about actually talking to her. 

Of course, if this was true, it would not explain why Jareth was having a mini-meltdown over what to wear when meeting his ex.

"I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!" Jareth said throwing the leather jacket he wore in the tunnels out of his room. As he threw an Armani suit out into the hall, he did not hear the smack of cloth against wall. He turned around and found Sarah with the suit partially on her head.

"Jareth, do I need to get you some tea?" Sarah asked with a sigh. She removed the offending clothing from her person and carefully put them on Jareth's bed.

"I am fine Sarah," Jareth said, feeling somewhat abash about his behavior. Somewhat.

Sarah went around the room picking up the discarded clothing. "What are you worried about?"

"I am not... fine. I am worried. It has been 200 years or so and I am not in the same amount of power as before," Jareth said.

Sarah picked some lint off of one of Jareth's jackets. "She probably already knows. What type of impression are you aiming for?"

"Power," Jareth said.

Sarah shook her head. "You have to be subtle, Jareth. You do not have the ability to back up your displays with actual power. Besides, women like subtle."

Jareth crossed his arms. "That has not been my experience."

Sarah rolled her eyes and handed Jareth the suit jacket he had been wearing earlier that day. "A well-tailored suit is all you need. It shows that you make money and that you think about your appearance but not enough to distract you from your work. Admittedly, in your case, that's a lie..."

Jareth stuck his tongue out at Sarah, but put on the jacket.

"Now, what was your hair like 200 years ago? Did she like it?"

Jareth motioned to his head.

"Really? You were rocking the eighties back when America was a bunch of colonies?"

"My hair naturally is this way."

"Did she like it?" Sarah asked.

"She did not dislike it," Jareth said.

Sarah buttoned Jareth's shirt so it was only the top two buttons undone. "There. Is there anything else?"

Jareth leaned to the side and grabbed his riding crop.

"Well, for once, that might be appropriate," Sarah said dryly.

&%&%&%

"Touch me ever again and I will rip you apart," Sarah growled as they stood outside Irene Adler's house.

"I told you that it was for your..."

"If you warned me first, your face wouldn't be bleeding," Sarah said.

Jareth gave a shrug.

"You wanted me to punch you," Sarah groaned, "Just tell me, you idiot. I would have been willing to punch you anyway."

Jareth rang the doorbell. After a few moments, a female voice (not Irene's) came over the intercom.

"Hello?" she said.

Jareth grinned. "Would you inform Ms. Adler that a goblin has come to play?"

"She is expecting you," the voice said.

The doors opened to a pretty redhead. "Oh, that is an adorable outfit," Sarah said.

"Thank you," the redhead said.

Jareth pushed his way into the house. "Will Ms. Adler be down soon?"

"She will be," the redhead said.

"Do you have a first-aid kit? I kind of broke my friend," Sarah said.

"In the kitchen. I will escort you there after I make sure the goblin stays in the parlor," the redhead said. 

"Ms. Adler's paranoia touches my non-existent soul," Jareth said.

&%&%&%

Jareth lounged on a white chair waiting for Irene Adler to arrive. _Maybe the riding crop is a little over the top. She may just invite me for some tea. Yeah, right. She is going to obliterate me. Not that I blame her._ He barely noticed that he was showing all his tells by tapping his riding crop against his leg and covering his mouth with his hand.

"Afternoon, Jareth," Irene Adler said as she walked into the room.

Jareth was about to reply with something witty but lost it when he realized that Irene was completely naked save for diamond earrings, a diamond ring, and Louis Vuitton black heels.

"Dear me, two hundred years and I can still get you to shut up. I must be special," Irene said. She touched the riding crop. "How have the years treated you?"

Jareth felt the need to gape but resisted it. "Sarah told me being subtle would work. It seems I should have stuck with my instinct that you would not find it interesting."

"Oh, no. Your little pet was right on that account. Most women prefer subtle. Men, however, would much rather everything be out in the open," Irene said.

"So you got all dressed up for me? I am truly honored," Jareth snarked.

"Jareth, you really need to realize that not everything revolves around you. I don't need to make an impression for you," Irene said.

Sarah was carrying a bowl of water and a towel. "Kate will be coming in with... oh. Um... Jareth... I know you don't wear a tie, but could you put a sock on the door or something? I'll just..."

"Nothing is happening, Sarah," Jareth said. 

Irene walked up to Sarah. "Yes, nothing has happened in a couple hundred years. Who are you, my pet?"

Sarah held out her free hand and kept eye contact with Irene. "Sarah Williams, Ms. Adler. I have a question. The riding crop was that a thing before, because, or after you?"

Irene tilted her head in confusion but shook Sarah's hand. "Before. Apparently, he likes the swooshing noise it makes when he pretends to be sword fighting. Please, sit down. Oh, if you'd like some tea I can call the maid."

"I had some at the Palace," Jareth said.

"I know," Irene said, locking eyes with Jareth.

"Clearly," Jareth said.

"I had a tea, too, at the Palace, if anyone's interested," Sarah said, taking a seat on the sofa.

"I think I would like some tea, Irene," Jareth said.

"Of course," Irene said, "Kate, some tea for our guests."

"Yes, ma'am," Kate said from the kitchen.

"Do you mind putting on some clothes?" Sarah said.

"Why? Are you feeling exposed?" Irene asked.

"I don't think Sarah knows where to look," Jareth said as he stood up. He shook out his coat and held it up for Irene to put on.

"No, I think she knows exactly where. I'm not sure about you," Irene said, glancing back at Jareth.

"I have seen it enough that it no longer holds novelty," Jareth said.

Irene put on the coat and sat next to Sarah. "Well, never mind. We've got better things to talk about. Now tell me. I need to know. How is your puzzle going?"

"What?" Jareth asked.

Irene took off her shoes. "The hiker with the bashed-in head. How was he killed?"

"That is not why I am here, Irene," Jareth said.

Irene gave a small smile. "No, no, no, you're here for the photographs but that's never going happen, and since we're here just chatting anyway ..."

"Lovely shoes. That story has not been on the news yet. How do you know about it?" Sarah said.

"I know one of the policemen. Well, I know what he likes," Irene said.

"Oh. And you like policemen?" Sarah asked. She picked up one of Irene's shoes.

"I like detective stories – and detectives. Brainy is the new sexy," Irene said. She winked at Jareth.

Kate brought in a tray of tea and quickly left. Jareth rolled his eyes at Irene's comment, but decide to indulge her anyway. He began to pace. "The position of the car relative to the hiker at the time of the backfire and that the death blow was to the back of the head. That is all you need to know."

"Okay, tell me: how was he murdered?" Irene asked.

Jareth smirked. "He wasn't."

"You don't think it was murder?" Irene asked.

"I know it wasn't," Jareth said.

"How?" Irene asked.

"The same way that I know the victim was an excellent sportsman recently returned from foreign travel and that the photographs I'm looking for are in this room," Jareth said.

Irene kept her eyes on Jareth. "Okay, but how?"

"So they are in this room. Thank you. Sarah, man the door. Let no-one in," Jareth said.

Sarah stood up and rolled her eyes. "Put a sock on the door." She slammed the door.

Jareth began to pace again. "Two men alone in the countryside several yards apart and one car."

Irene looked around. "I thought you were looking for the photos now."

Jareth shook his head. "No, no. Looking will take too long. I am not just going to find them, but you seem to have regained some of your wit over the years and we have a moment, so let's pass the time.

"Two men, a car, and nobody else. The driver is trying to fix his engine. Nothing is happening. The hiker is taking a moment, looking at the sky. Watching the birds? Doubtful. Any moment now, something is going to happen. What?"

"The hiker's going to die."

"No, that is the result. What is going to happen?"

"I don't understand."

"Oh, well, try to," Jareth said with a sigh.

"Why? Why are you playing this game with me?"

"Because I need a little challenge again. Stop boring me and think. It's the new sexy."

"The car's going to backfire."

"There is going to be a loud noise."

"So what?"

"Oh, noises are important. Noises can tell you everything. For instance..." Jareth paused.

The fire alarm went off. Irene quickly glanced at the mirror above the fireplace.

"Thank you. It is amazing how fire exposes our priorities," Jareth said, "That was the first trick my sister learned in the Underground."

Jareth pressed a hidden button that caused the mirror to rise, revealing a safe. Jareth said, "All right, Sarah, you can turn it off now."

The alarm continued. Jareth said louder, "I said you can turn it off now!"

"Give me a minute!" Sarah shouted back.

Jareth examined the safe. He waved a gloved hand. "You should always use gloves with these things. The heaviest oil deposits are always on the first key used – that is quite clearly the three – but after that the sequence is almost impossible to read. I would say from the make that it is a six digit code." The fire alarm turned off.

Irene stood up and stuck her hands into Jareth's coat pockets. "I'd tell you the code right now but you know what? I already have."

Jareth raised an eyebrow.

"Think," Irene said with a smirk.

Three men with guns came into the room, one who was behind Sarah, carefully not touching her.

The leader said, "Hands behind your head. Ms. Adler on the floor. Keep it still."

Sarah got on her knees next to Irene who was still standing. "Sorry, Jareth," Sarah said.

As Jareth raised his hands, he thought of several different ways to kill the men before him.

"Ms. Adler, on the floor," the leader said.

One of the men shoved Irene to the floor. Irene and Sarah shared a "can you believe how rude people are being?" look.

"Don't you want me on the floor too?" Jareth said in a poisoned honey tone.

"No, sir, I want you to open the safe," the leader said.

Jareth tilted his head. "American. Interesting. Why would you care?"

"Sir, the safe, now, please," the leader said.

"I do not know the code," Jareth said.

"We've been listening. She said she told you," the leader said.

Jareth sighed. "Well, if you had been listening, you would know she did not."

"I'm assuming I missed something. From your reputation, I'm assuming you didn't, Mr. King," the leader said.

"She's the one who knows the code. Ask her," Sarah said.

"True, but she also knows the code that automatically calls the police and sets off the burglar alarm. I've learned not to trust this woman," the leader said.

Irene tried to speak. "Mr. King doesn't..."

"Shut up. One more word out of you – just one – and I will decorate that wall with the insides of your head. That, for me, will not be a hardship," the leader said.

Jareth shrugged. "Please, it will make my life much less annoying. I have been trying to have her killed for two centuries."

The leader nodded. "Mr. Archer. At the count of three, shoot Ms. Williams."

"What?" Sarah said.

Jareth has a moment of panic. "I don't have the code."

Sarah flinched at the gun was pressed to her head. She mouthed to Jareth "Any time now."

"One."

Jareth said, "I don't know the code. I cannot lie to you."

"Two."

"She didn't tell me." Jareth let the panic crack through. "I don't know it!"

"I'm prepared to believe you any second now," the leader said.

Jareth glanced over to Irene who lowered her gaze pointedly downwards.

"Three."

"No, stop! I figured it out!"

Jareth slowly tapped out the numbers. The safe beeped and unlocked. Irene smiled in satisfaction and Jareth rested his head against the safe for a moment. Sarah sighed in relief.

"Thank you, Mr. King. Open it, please," the leader said.

As Jareth glanced back at Irene, he saw that she had lowered her gaze to the floor and made a tiny jerk with her head. He turned back to the safe. Jareth said quickly, "Vatican cameos."

Instantly Sarah threw herself to the floor. At the same moment, Jareth pulled open the door of the safe while ducking down below the fireplace. Inside the safe, a gun went off. One of the men with guns was hit with the bullet. Jareth and Irene quickly disarmed their guards and knocked them out.

Sarah sat up and took the shot man's pulse. "He's dead."

Irene grinned. "Thank you. You were very observant."

"Observant?" Sarah asked.

"I'm flattered," Irene said.

"Don't be," Jareth said.

"Flattered?" Sarah said.

"There will be more of them. They will be keeping an eye on the building," Jareth said.

After removing the phone from the safe, Jareth took a gun from one of the knocked out men. He walked outside. Sarah followed.

"We should call the police," Sarah said.

"Quite right, precious," Jareth said. He shot the gun off several times. A car's tires screeched nearby. "They are on their way." He ran back into the house.

"For the love of Charlton Heston!" Sarah shouted.

"Oh shut up. It was quick."

"Crud, where's Kate?" Sarah said. She ran away from Jareth and began searching the house.

"Sarah, stop running off on your own," Jareth shouted after her. He quickly returned to the parlor where Irene was looking into the empty safe. 

Jareth casually took a ginger snap from the tea platter. He held up the phone. "Looking for this, Irene?"

"That's mine," Irene said, holding out her hand.

Jareth rolled his eyes and fiddled with the phone for a moment, coming up to a locked screen. "All the photographs are on here, I presume."

"I have copies, of course," Irene said.

Jareth gave a short laugh. "No you don't. You would have permanently disabled any kind of uplink or connection. Unless the contents of this phone are provably unique, you wouldn't be able to sell them. Good to know that you can lie now, though."

Irene lowered her hand. "Who said I'm selling?"

Jareth motioned to the bodies on the floor. "Well, why would they be interested? Whatever is on this phone, it is clearly not just photographs."

"That camera phone is my life, Jareth. I'd die before I let you take it. It's my protection."

"Jareth! I need some help!" Sarah shouted from upstairs.

"It was," Jareth said, "With what you did to be banished and helping Moriarty trying to kill my heir and my Sarah, did you really think I would be merciful to you, Irene? I thought you were smarter than that."

&%&%&%

Sarah was in (what Jareth assumed was) Irene's room. Kate was on the floor, still. A window in the bathroom was open.

"They must have come in this way," Sarah said, motioning her head towards the window.

"Clearly," Jareth said. He went to investigate the window anyway.

"It's all right. She's just out cold," Sarah said.

Irene walked into the room with Jareth's riding crop in her hand. "Well, God knows she's used to that. There's a back door. Better check it, Ms. Williams."

Jareth came out of the bathroom and nodded to Sarah.

"Sure," Sarah said, leaving the room.

Jareth leaned against the bathroom door frame. "Have you figured it out yet?" he asked.

"What?" Irene asked.

"Why Sarah is not falling for you?" Jareth said. He took a bite out of the cookie.

"I saw it for a moment, but she has a hickey," Irene said, "Yours? I'm going to guess it wasn't mutual since you received that hit from her."

Jareth shrugged and finished off the cookie. "My mark on her will fade. I really doubt you would let her go after meeting you. You would do it just to spite me. Your cookies taste odd."

Irene smiled politely. Jareth was about to ask why until the room started spinning.

"What did you... do to me?" Jareth asked. He tried to move towards the main door but Irene blocked his way.

"What? Isn't everything just peachy, Jareth?" Irene asked.

Jareth collapsed to his knees. Irene held out her hand. 

"Give it to me. Now. Give it to me."

Jareth shook his head.

"Give it to me.

Jareth was on his hands as well now, still gripping the phone.

"No, Irene."

"Oh, for goodness' sake. Drop it." Irene smacked Jareth three times with the riding crop. "I said drop it."

Jareth fell to the ground completely. 

"Ah. Thank you, dear." Irene picked up the phone again. "Now tell that sweet little posh thing the pictures are safe with me. They're not for blackmail, just for insurance. Besides, I might want to see her again."

Jareth tried to sit up again but was push back down with the riding crop. "Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's been a pleasure. Don't spoil it. This is how I want you to remember me. Not defeated, but triumphant. How the tables have turned, Jareth."

Jareth's vision was quickly fading. "What are you doing?" Sarah asked.

"I just gave him a little bit of a peach," Irene said, "He'll be fine. It certainly isn't the first time he's had it."

Sarah knelt down next to Jareth. "Can you hear me, Jareth?"

Jareth's vision was almost entirely gone. 

"You know, I was wrong about him. He did know where to look," Irene said.

"For what? What are you talking about?" Sarah asked.

"The key code to my safe. Shall I tell her, Jareth? It was my measurements. See you later, my pet."

&%&%&%

Jareth was haunted by old dreams of shattered ballrooms and whirling clocks. He was quite disappointed when Irene showed up in one of his dreams. They were in the field where the hiker had died. Irene led Jareth around the field as she figured out the answer to the mystery.

"So the car's about to backfire and the hiker, he's staring at the sky. Now, you said he could be watching birds but he wasn't, was he? He was watching another kind of flying thing. The car backfires and the hiker turns to look which was his big mistake. By the time the driver looks up, the hiker's already dead. What he doesn't see is what killed him because it's already being washed downstream. An accomplished sportsman recently returned from foreign travel with... a boomerang. You got that from one look? Definitely the new sexy."

"Show off," Jareth muttered. He was vaguely aware that he was in his own bed and Irene was next to him.

"It's okay. I'm only returning your coat," Irene said.

Suddenly, Jareth woke up, alone in his room. "Sarah?" he said hoarsely. "Sarah!"

As he tried to get out of bed, Sarah came into his room.

"You okay?" Sarah asked.

"How did I get here?" Jareth asked as he sat up. 

"Well, I don't suppose you remember much. Hallucinogenic peaches do that to a person. I should warn you; I think Lestrade filmed you on his phone."

"Where is she?" Jareth asked.

"Where's who?" Sarah asked.

"Don't be dull. Irene," Jareth said.

"She got away. No one saw her escape route," Sarah said.

Jareth tried to get out of bed but Sarah pushed him down and covered him up with a sheet. "Back to bed. You'll be fine in a little bit. Just sleep it off. It's not like you have less than an hour to get your brother back or anything important like that."

"Are you still bitter over that?" Jareth mumbled.

"Not as much as you taking away my hours," Sarah said.

Jareth hooked his arm around Sarah's waist and pulled her next to him. "Stay."

Sarah fluffed Jareth's hair and lay down next to him. "It could have gone worse," Sarah said.

"Being attacked by gun crazy Americans, losing the phone, getting drugged..."

"You got drugged. I am perfectly lucid," Sarah said.

A soft female moan was heard.

"That wasn't me," Sarah said.

Jareth glared at the coat rack. Sarah got up and pulled Jareth's coat off the door. "Wasn't Irene Adler wearing this?"

Jareth nodded. Sarah took out Jareth's phone which had a message. She read it out loud. "Until next time, Jareth."

"I really hate her," Jareth mumbled as he fell back asleep again.

"Yeah, well, we can start a club," Sarah said as she settled next to Jareth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It really should not have taken me until half-way through writing "The Blonde Babe" to realize how to write Jareth and Irene's relationship. (Yeah, Jareth isn't exactly going to be nicknamed "The Virgin" anytime soon.) I honestly like how Irene Adler was portrayed in the series and I feel bad that I am vilifying her more than usual in this.


	5. Chapter V: Old Hurts

Sarah was eating her cereal with a, for lack of a better term, hung-over roommate the following day with Mrs. Hudson puttering around the apartment when a somewhat expected visitor showed up.

"Mr. Umbrella, how are you today?" Sarah said.

"I have had better days, Ms. Williams," Mycroft said, "You said you would have the photographs by the end of the day. Now I am dealing with dead bodies and a missing dominatrix." 

"The photographs are perfectly safe," Jareth said, turning his attention to his newspaper.

"In the hands of a fugitive sex worker," Mycroft said.

"She is not interested in blackmail. She wants...protection. It is what she has always wanted. I take it you have stood down the police investigation into the shooting at her house?" Jareth said.

"How can we do anything while she has the photographs? Our hands are tied," Mycroft said.

"She would applaud your choice of words. You see how this works: that camera phone is her ticket for freedom. You have to leave her alone. Treat her like royalty, Mycroft," Jareth said.

"Though not the way she treats royalty," Sarah said.

Jareth chuckled.

"Yes, we don't want you drugging the Queen, now would we?" Sarah said. Jareth threw a piece of toast at Sarah.

The female sigh went off.

"I swear that isn't me," Sarah said.

"What is that?" Mycroft said.

Jareth went over to where he left his phone. "Text." He looked at the text before slipping his phone into his trouser front pocket. "Did you know there were other people after her too, Mycroft, before you sent Sarah and I in there? CIA-trained killers according to Sarah's guess."

"Yeah, thanks for that, Mr. Umbrella," Sarah said.

Mrs. Hudson set a pot of tea on the table. "It's a disgrace, sending your friends into danger like that."

Mycroft said sharply, "Oh, shut up, Mrs. Hudson."

"MYCROFT!" Jareth and Sarah shouted at the same time.

Mycroft looked something close to ashamed. "Apologies."

"Thank you," Mrs. Hudson said.

"Though do, in fact, shut up," Jareth said. He got the piece of toast thrown back at his head by Sarah.

The ring tone went off again. Mrs. Hudson looked scandalized. "Oh. It's a bit rude, that noise, isn't it?"

Jareth looked at the text, rolled his eyes, and went back to reading the paper. "There's nothing you can do and nothing she will do as far as I can see."

"I can put maximum surveillance on her," Mycroft said.

Sarah laughed. "Why bother? You can follow her on Twitter. I believe her user name is 'TheWhipHand'."

Mycroft rolled his eyes. "Yes. Most amusing." Mycroft's phone rang and he looked at who it was. "Excuse me." He went into the hall to talk.

Sarah glanced over at Jareth. "You know, if you don't know how to remove it, I can change the text tone."

"I will deal with it later," Jareth said.

"I'm worried Mrs. Hudson will faint if she hears it again," Sarah said.

"I really doubt Mrs. Hudson is that fragile," Jareth said.

"So you are willing to let your phone..."

The text went off again.

Mrs. Hudson. "Could you turn that phone down a bit? At my time of life."

Sarah glared at Jareth, hoping he sensed her displeasure through his wall of newspaper. "Now, why would you not want to get rid of the sound of the woman you hate having an orgasm?"

Jareth pulled the paper closer to himself. "I'll leave you to your deductions, precious."

Sarah rolled her eyes. "I'm not stupid, you know."

"Where do you get that idea?"

Mycroft finished his phone call in the room. "Bond Air is go, that's decided. Check with the Coventry lot. Talk later."

Jareth put down his paper when Mycroft finished his call. "What else does she have? Irene Adler. The Americans wouldn't be interested in her for a couple of compromising photographs. There is more." Jareth stood up. "Much more. Something big is coming, isn't it?"

"Irene Adler is no longer any concern of yours. From now on, you will stay out of this," Mycroft said.

"Oh, will I?" Jareth said.

"Yes, Jareth, you will," Mycroft said.

Jareth went to his piano and played some scales.

Mycroft turned to leave. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a long and arduous apology to make to a very old friend."

"Do give her my love," Jareth said. He began to play "God Save The Queen" which made Sarah laugh. 

&%&%&%

As Sarah came out of her room that evening to go to work, she almost tripped over several goblins. Rossetti was in the living room, looking far too pleased with herself. Jareth was sulking.

"Do you have time for some tea, Sarah?" the Goblin King asked.

Sarah said, "I have to go in a couple of minutes, but if there is an emergency..."

"No, no, no. Nothing like that," Rossetti said, "This is just a friendly little visit."

Jareth made a noise of annoyance.

"Oh, shut it kinsman," Christiana said.

"You shut it," Jareth mumbled.

"Our little goblin is grumpy because he got beaten up by a Fae," Rossetti said.

"I did not get beaten up!" Jareth said.

Sarah rubbed her forehead, feeling a headache coming already. "So, you know the situation?"

"Yes. Irene Adler is an old friend of the family," Christiana said.

Sarah laughed at that.

"No, really. My parents were probably the only people in the Underground who did not have an arrangement with Ms. Adler," Christiana said, "Uncle Jareth just had to go and ruin several hundred years of friendship because he couldn't keep it in his tights."

Jareth glared at his niece but did not have a rebuttal.

"I am going to assume that you are here for reasons other than scolding your uncle," Sarah said.

Rossetti nodded. "Ms. Adler is causing a small stir in the Underground. Apparently, she is trying to gain some protection. She has not done this since her banishment."

"Why would she do that?" Sarah asked.

"She's scared," Jareth said, "Irene is one of those people who is never scared."

"I was here to see if Jareth knew anything, which he doesn't," Rossetti said.

"I have not involved myself in Irene's affairs for a long time," Jareth said.

Jareth's text went off. Rossetti laughed. "Well, I'm off. Have fun staying out of Ms. Adler... and her affairs."

&%&%&%

Sarah was returning from work a few days later, burdened with the news from a phone call. She was not paying much attention and literally ran into Jareth as he was exiting 221 Baker Street.

"All right, precious?" Jareth asked, steadying Sarah.

"I'm all right," Sarah said.

"No, you are not," Jareth said. He brought Sarah inside and sat with her on the sofa, putting his arm around her shoulders. "What's wrong, precious?"

Sarah shook her head. "I'm being so silly."

"You may be, but let me be the judge of that," Jareth said.

Sarah spoke slowly. "My Mother just landed in London. She is doing a play in the West End. She wants to have tea this afternoon."

"Don't go," Jareth said quickly.

"I haven't seen her in two years."

"She doesn't deserve to see you."

"She's my Mom."

"She doesn't deserve the title."

"I am supposed to see her."

"No, you are supposed to stay sane."

Sarah took Jareth's free hand in her own. "I... she said I could bring my famous detective roommate if he wanted to come."

"I am not going to go to satisfy her desire for fame."

Sarah gave a sad smile. "I need you to come, Jareth. I need to say I have done everything in my power to make my relationship with my Mother right."

Jareth kissed Sarah's hand, making Sarah feel better than she had all morning. "I won't be nice to her," he said.

"I was counting on it."

&%&%&%

Sarah moved around the lobby of the Ritz. Jareth insisted that she was lovely and elegant. Sarah felt exposed and crass. She was not sure why the dress she was wearing felt appropriate for Soo-Lin's wedding but not for a cup of tea.

Linda Williams was still beautiful and enchanting, even well into her fifties. There was a grace and style to her that did not fade with the passing of time. She barely hugged her daughter and gave air kisses.

"Hello, Sarah," Linda said, "Oh, what a _pleasant_ little dress."

"Thank you," Sarah said, realizing that her Mother was displeased with how she looked.

Linda held out her hand to Jareth. "You must be Jareth King. You look familiar beyond your photos in the news though."

Jareth glanced at Linda's hand and said in a very deliberate manner, "I have been told I look much like Jeremy Eden. I believe our table is ready."

Linda ignored the slight and followed the waiter. Jareth stayed next to Sarah. He helped Sarah sit at the table, but not Linda.

"I have been told the champagne tea is quite lovely here," Linda said.

Sarah said quickly, "That sounds a bit heavy this early, Mom. Think of your figure."

"Oh, dear. You are right. I hope you don't mind Mr. King?" Linda said.

"Not at all," Jareth said.

As Linda ordered, Jareth leaned over to Sarah and whispered, "Thank you, precious."

"Not a problem," Sarah said.

"What are you two whispering about?" Linda asked.

"Business," Sarah said.

"Oh, you help Mr. King on those cases, don't you? Do you hold his things or something?" Linda asked.

"No. She examines the bodies," Jareth said, "In fact, she made a lovely deduction about how the smashed eye of a mugging victim gone wrong..."

Linda visibly paled at the thought. "Dear me, that sounds rather unlike Sarah."

"I have been a medic for several years, Mom," Sarah said.

Linda waved a hand. "Oh, right. What are you doing now, Sarah?"

"I have been working as a nurse at St. Bartholomew's Hospital for the past nine months," Sarah said. 

"And you, Mr. King?" Linda asked. "Do you do anything besides your cases?"

"Oh, just some goblin wrangling," Jareth said.

Sarah covertly kicked Jareth under the table. "He is married to his work. Not much time for anything else."

"Oh. So no grandkids?" Linda asked.

"Dear God, no," Sarah said.

"The lady protests too much," Jareth muttered.

"That's not how the line goes," Linda and Sarah said together.

The tea was served. Jareth seemed far too comfortable for Sarah's liking, even if she did bring him along as moral support.

"How has your year been, Mrs. Williams?" Jareth asked.

"It is Ms. Williams," Linda said.

"If you are still using your husband's name, you are a Mrs. I thought," Jareth said.

"Ex-husband," Linda said, "Williams was already my stage name when we divorced."

Jareth nodded. "My error, Ms. Williams."

Sarah took a sip of her tea and cast a glare at Jareth. He merely smiled at Sarah.

"I was a part of _The Music Man_ earlier this year. I have been working on this play for the past few months. We are touring now, obviously."

"What play?" Jareth asked.

" _A Doll's House_."

The irony was not lost on Jareth.

"Really? Let me see if I remember the play. Isn't it about a woman who decides to abandon her children because she does not feel free?"

Linda put on her false smile. "She did not abandon them. They were safe."

"But she had no intentions of returning," Jareth said.

"Wouldn't it be better for the children if they had a complete mother?" Linda said.

"No one is complete. We make do," Jareth said.

Sarah drank the rest of her tea like a shot of whiskey. "How about dem Bears?"

&%&%&%

Jareth paced 221b. "The nerve of that woman. She treats you like rubbish and then expects you to be happy about it."

Sarah sat on the middle of the sofa, smoothing her skirt. "She is just not very aware, Jareth."

"No, she is purposefully harming you."

"Jareth, I just need you to sit with me while I process."

He sat carelessly next to Sarah. She curled up against him and relaxed when he put his arm around her.

"I want to hate her. I can't. I can only pity her. She is so lonely."

Jareth kissed the top of Sarah's head. "You are too sympathetic, precious."

"You benefit big time form it, though."

"True, precious."

Sarah felt oddly warm and fuzzy towards Jareth. Then the text alert went off.

"Jareth, if you don't change that ring tone, I will break that phone."

"Jealous?"

"You wish."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, Sarah. You're not jealous at all. Denial is just a river in Egypt too.
> 
>  _A Doll's House_ is a brilliant play and one of my college papers was on it. Yes, Jareth saw the play on its first run.


	6. Chapter VI: What About Her?

Jareth really hated "What Child Is This". It was based on the song "Greensleeves" and every time he heard that song, he was reminded of his brother-in-law telling the story of how Anne Boleyn had her head chopped off. Jareth's sister made it very clear after that that the Goblin King was not to tell Jareth stories about people having their heads removed until Jareth was about seven years old, not four. Unfortunately for Jareth, it was Mrs. Hudson's favorite Christmas song. So, he played it to the best of his abilities as a small present to his landlady ("not his housekeeper"). Fortunately, Sherlock was there to play his violin as a duet.

"Lovely! Jareth, Sherlock, that was lovely!" Mrs. Hudson said with a smattering of applause.

"Marvelous!" John said.

Mrs. Hudson said to Sherlock, "I wish you could have worn the antlers!"

"Some things are best left to the imagination, Mrs. Hudson," Sherlock said.

John handed a cup of tea to Mrs. Hudson. "Just as you like it, with a bit of Sherlock's honey."

"Thank you dear," Mrs. Hudson said.

"Lestrade, do you want some tea?" John asked.

"No, I'm good with the eggnog," Lestrade said.

"Even if it isn't fun eggnog," Jareth muttered.

Sarah bustled into the room with gingerbread cookies. She was wearing the antlers. "Not burned! It was just a false alarm."

"Turn back!" Sherlock said.

"Go back while you still can!" Jareth said.

"Oh, both of you, hush. Why did we decide it would be good for the kids to play together, John?" Sarah asked.

"Because they would throw fits if they don't have play dates occasionally," John said.

Jareth and Sherlock both grinned. Molly Hooper came up the steps of 221b with two bags full of presents.

"Oh, dear Lord," Sherlock said, becoming glum. 

"Hello, everyone. Sorry, I'm late," Molly said. "Er, it said on the door just to come up."

There was a round of Christmas greetings from everyone save Sherlock and Jareth. Molly began to take off her coat when John went to help.

"Let me take... holy Mary!" John said. 

Molly was wearing a well fitted little black dress. Lestrade gaped. The ladies oooed and awwed as was expected. Sherlock was sulking. Jareth was mildly impressed. _Margie cleans up nice._

"Having Christmas drinks, then?" Molly asked.

Sherlock sat at the desk with Sarah's computer. "No stopping them, apparently," he muttered.

"It's the one day of the year where the boys have to be nice to me, so it's almost worth it!" Mrs. Hudson said.

"Sarah," Sherlock said.

Sarah walked over to Sherlock. "What's the problem?"

Sherlock motioned to Sarah's blog which he had brought up. "The counter on your blog says one thousand eight hundred and ninety-five. It has been that way for months."

Sarah shrugged. "Go fix it my brilliant friend if it bugs you that much.

Sherlock pointed to a picture on Sarah's blog. "Why do you have a picture of Jareth in a fedora?"

"People like the hat" Sarah said.

"No they don't. What people?" Sherlock asked. Sarah ruffled his hair and went back to the party.

"I wasn't expecting to see you. I thought you were gonna be in Dorset for Christmas," Molly said to Lestrade.

"That's first thing in the morning. Me and the wife – we're back together. It's all sorted," Lestrade said.

Jareth was shuffling sheets of Christmas music as he spoke. "No, she's sleeping with a P.E. teacher."

Sarah groaned and gently smacked her head against the mantelpiece. "Here comes the rock slide."

Molly tried to change the topic of the conversation. "And John. I hear you're off to your sister's, is that right?"

John said, "First time ever. She's cleaned up her act. She's off the booze."

"Nope," Sherlock said.

"Shut up, Sherlock," John snapped.

"One word about me, Jareth, and the blackmail is coming out," Sarah said, resting her head against the mantelpiece.

Jareth rolled his eyes at the loss of such entertainment. Than he noticed a gift in Molly's bag. "I see you've got a new boyfriend, Molly, and you're serious about him."

"Sorry, what?" Molly said.

"In fact, you're seeing him this very night and giving him a gift," Jareth said.

"Take a day off," John muttered.

"Surely you have all seen the present at the top of the bag. It is perfectly wrapped with a bow. All the others are slapdash at best," Jareth said. He stood up and walked over to Molly, picking up the present along the way. "It is for someone special than. The shade of red echoes her lipstick which is either an unconscious association or one that she is deliberately trying to encourage. Either way, Miss Hooper has love on her mind. The fact that she's serious about him is clear from the fact she's giving him a gift at all. That would suggest long-term hopes. The fact that she is seeing him tonight is evident from her make-up and what she's wearing. She is obviously... oh. Never mind. Forget it. I am rambling."

Sherlock dashed over and grabbed the gift. "No you weren't. You were making perfectly sound deductions and... oh."

Written in red ink, the tag read, "Dearest Sherlock, Love Molly xxx."

Molly was fighting back tears. "You always say such horrible things. Every time. Always. Always."

Jareth avoided eye contact and said, "I am sorry. Forgive me. Happy Christmas, Molly Hooper." He kissed her cheek.

Jareth's text went off. Molly turned a deep red. "No! That wasn't... I... I didn't ..."

"No, it was me," Jareth said,.

A chorus of "what" came from everyone but Sarah.

"My phone," Jareth said, pulling out his phone.

"Fifty-seven," Sarah mumbled.

"Sorry, what?" Jareth said.

"I have heard about fifty-seven of those texts," Sarah said.

The text simply said. "Mantelpiece."

Jareth moved over to the mantelpiece, picking up a small, red package that was tied with black rope. It was by where Sarah was resting her head. "I am thrilled that you have been counting. Excuse me," Jareth said. He quickly left the room to the kitchen.

Sarah followed. "Jareth? Are you okay?

Jareth glared at Sarah. "I said excuse me."

Sarah stood in the kitchen and groaned. "Do you even reply to them?"

Jareth continued to his room. He sat on his bed and opened the gift. It was Irene Adler's phone. Without pause, Jareth dialed an old enemy. 

"Oh dear, Lord. What did Sherlock do this time?" Mycroft asked.

"I think you're going to find Irene Adler tonight," Jareth said.

"We already know where she is. As you were kind enough to point out, it hardly matters," Mycroft said.

"No, I mean you're going to find her dead." Jareth hung up the phone. He looked up and saw Sarah standing in the doorway.

"What happened?" Sarah asked.

Jareth stood up and walked to Sarah. "It doesn't matter."

"It does matter, Jareth."

He kissed Sarah's forehead and then pulled her into an embrace. His face bumped into the felt antlers. "I am sorry, but this is not going to be a pleasant Christmas."

"It wouldn't be my first bad Christmas. I can deal with another one."

&%&%&%

Outside of St. Bart's morgue, Jareth was looking out a window at the falling snow. He had identified Irene's body. Mycroft walked up next to Jareth and held up a cigarette.

"Just the one," Mycroft said.

"Why? Is it poisoned?" Jareth asked.

Mycroft replied, "I don't need to add anything to a cigarette to make it poisonous. Merry Christmas."

Jareth took the cigarette and lit it with a match from a matchbook he always had (just in case). He took a long drag and exhaled the smoke with relish. 

"How did you know she was dead?" Mycroft asked.

"She had an item in her possession. She said her life depended on. She chose to give it up." Jareth took another long drag.

"Where is this item now?"

Jareth glanced down the hall at a mourning family. "Look at them. They all care so much. Sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong with me because of how little it matters."

"All lives end. All hearts are broken. Life isn't fair. You taught me that last one."

"This is low tar," Jareth said with disgust. He began to walk away. "Happy Christmas, Mycroft."

"And a happy New Year," Mycroft said.

&%&%&%

It would not take a genius to realize that Sarah and Mrs. Hudson had been warned by Mycroft that Jareth was not in the best of condition. Jareth was aware what taking the cigarette meant. He would deal with the consequences of it. 

"Oh, hi. Are you Okay?" Sarah said, looking up from the book she was "reading".

"I hope you did not mess up my sock index this time," Jareth said. He went to his room and slammed the door.

&%&%&%

On New Year's Eve, Jareth was at the piano, jotting notes down on a music sheet. From the whispered conversations he overheard between Sarah and Mrs. Hudson, they assumed Jareth's melancholy was because of the passing of Irene Adler. The goblins had quickly become bored with the former Goblin King and remained out of 221b. Mrs. Hudson and Sarah were avoiding touching experiments in the kitchen. 

"Lovely tune, Jareth. Haven't heard that one before," Mrs. Hudson said.

"Are you composing?" Sarah asked.

"It helps me to think," Jareth said.

"What are you thinking about?" Sarah asked.

Jareth jumped up to pick up Irene's phone. "The counter on your blog is still stuck at one thousand eight hundred and ninety-five."

Sarah walked into the living room, drying her hands on a tea towel. "Yeah, it's faulty. I can't seem to fix it."

"Faulty or you have been hacked and it is a message." Jareth typed the numbers into the phone quickly but the numbers were wrong. "Just faulty." He returned to the piano.

"Right. Well, I'm going out for a while," Sarah said.

"Where?" Jareth asked.

"Out. I need some air. The apartment is getting too confined," Sarah said.

Jareth finished up his notes and looked out the window. Sarah was wearing the red and white striped hat, making it a rather odd (and dull) game of _Where's Waldo?_ for Jareth. As she stepped out onto Baker Street, Sarah ran into a woman. They spoke for a moment and a black car pulled to a stop near the two women. Sarah went into the car without a fight.

Though he would refuse to admit, Jareth panicked. He grabbed his coat and scarf and ran outside, hailing the first cab that came by. He followed the black car to the Battersea Power Station. It was a fairy market several years ago and the magic in the place was still potent. This made it the perfect place to hide for a magical creature.

Jareth stayed out of sight and temporarily was out of hearing of Sarah. When he found himself in a power room, he felt like his insides had been obliterated. Irene Adler stood in the room alive and well, speaking to Sarah. There was a large distance between the women.

"He never replies," Irene said.

"Jareth always replies to everything. He will set the Cleaners on you for being snarky. He will outlive God trying to have the last word."

"Does that make me special?"

"Yes," Sarah said sharply.

"Now, now, Sarah, jealous doesn't look good on you."

"Jealous? Jealous? JEALOUS? You think this is me jealous? This is me angry, Irene. You helped the man who tried to kill my brother. You have taunted my best friend. Belittled him. Lied to him. You have caused him physical harm. You think that the reason I am upset with you is that I am jealous of something that happened 200 years ago and a couple of flirty texts?"

_Best friend? I'm her best friend?_

Irene became quiet. "'I'm not dead. Let's have dinner.' Satisfied?"

"You really wouldn't be able to do that for me."

"Jareth fulfilling those needs?"

"He wishes."

Jareth flinched and then his text went off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the novelization of _Labyrinth_ , the song on the music box is "Greensleeves" not "As the World Falls Down".


	7. Chapter VII: Knight in Worm Eaten Armor

As Sarah walked out of 221b Baker Street, a woman in all black stumbled in front of Sarah. "Oh, are you all right?" Sarah asked.

The woman stood up. "Perfectly all right, Ms. Williams."

Sarah took a step back and made her hands into fists. She was about to act when she saw a black car pull up in front of the apartment. Sarah sighed. "You know, Mycroft could just phone me, if he didn't have this stupid power complex."

&%&%&%

Battersea Power Station was a ruin. Sarah realized as she followed the mystery woman that there was a latent magic in the place. 

"Couldn't we just go to a café? Jareth doesn't follow me everywhere," Sarah said.

"Through there," the woman said, typing something into her phone.

Sarah walked into a long room with switches and control panels. "He's writing sad music; doesn't eat; barely talks. I would say he was heartbroken but, it's Jareth. He hated... her."

Irene Adler stepped out from the shadows. "Hello, Ms. Williams."

Sarah said in a voice far calmer than she expected, "Tell him you're alive."

Irene shook her head. "He'd come after me."

"I'll come after you if you don't," Sarah said.

"I believe you, my pet."

Sarah spoke louder now. "You were dead on a slab. It was definitely you. I know the mortician."

"DNA tests are only as good as the records you keep."

"And I bet you know the record-keeper." 

"I know what he likes and I needed to disappear."

Sarah stomped her feet. "Then how come I can see you, and I don't even want to?"

Irene looked down for a moment before speaking. "Look, I made a mistake. I sent something to Jareth for safe-keeping and now I need it back, so I need your help."

"No."

"It's for his own safety," Irene said in a soft tone. 

"So is this. Tell him you're alive."

"I can't."

Sarah began to walk away. "Fine. I'll tell him, and I still won't help you."

Irene called out, "What do I say?"

Sarah shouted, "What do you normally say? You've texted him a lot!"

"The same things we always talked about," Irene said. She pulled out a phone and began to read some texts aloud. "'Good morning'; 'I like your funny hat'; 'I'm sad tonight. Let's have dinner.'; 'I'm not hungry, let's have dinner'."

"Well... that was tamer than I expected. Still, flirting? After drugging him, you're flirting with him?"

"At him. He never replies."

"Jareth always replies to everything. He's Mr. Punchline. He will set the Cleaners on you. He will outlive God trying to have the last word."

"Does that make me special?"

"Yes," Sarah said sharply.

"Now, now, Sarah, jealous doesn't look good on you."

"Jealous? Jealous? JEALOUS? You think this is me jealous? This is me angry, Irene. You helped the man who tried to kill my brother. You have taunted my best friend. Belittled him. Lied to him. You have caused him physical harm. You think that the reason I am upset with you is that I am jealous of something that happened 200 years ago and a couple of flirty texts?"

Irene became quiet. She carefully typed something into her phone. She briefly showed the screen before hitting send. 'I'm not dead. Let's have dinner.' Satisfied?"

"You really wouldn't be able to do that for me."

"Jareth fulfilling those needs?"

"He wishes."

A very familiar, very annoying text alert went off nearby. The two women turned and saw a brief flash of blonde hair.

"Jareth!" Sarah said. She moved to follow him but Irene motioned for Sarah to stop.

"I don't think so, do you?" Irene said.

Sarah glared at Irene and ran after Jareth anyway. She caught up to him on the ground floor of the power plant. When she touched his arm, he jerked away.

"Jareth, I don't mind if you go to her," Sarah said.

Jareth growled, "I would strangle her."

Sarah tried to touch Jareth again, but he stepped away. "Jareth, I want to..."

"I am too angry to be near anyone, Sarah."

"What law did she break to make you hate her so much?" Sarah blurted out.

Jareth glared at Sarah but answered anyway. "She seduced a Runner. We are not supposed to touch a Runner, those of us who are in power, I mean. It is an automatic forfeit of the child. The child of the Runner was killed shortly afterwards by his Father. I was saving that child, Sarah, and Irene killed him."

Sarah closed her eyes for a moment. The grief Jareth had was so strong she could almost think he was an empath. She opened her eyes and said, "I'm sorry, Jareth. It must have hurt especially after you broke the Laws of the Labyrinth yourself and..."

"I AM NOTHING LIKE HER!"

Sarah took a deep breath before answering Jareth. "You are both selfish to the point that you do not even begin to comprehend it. You view yourselves as above everything. You don't see your connections unless they can serve you. Irene hasn't bothered contacting Kate. You don't think about how you hurt others with your actions and words. You two are more similar to each other than you think you are. You two probably are more alike than you and Moriarty."

Jareth did not speak for several moments. Sarah zipped her coat up completely, feeling unbearably cold.

"Sarah, you are a silly girl who knows nothing of the world. Do not speak to me in such a way again. You have no right to do such. Leave me be."

He left. Sarah leaned against a wall and focused on not vomiting.

&%&%&%

Sarah did not remember getting into the car but she did vaguely remember Irene speaking to her about something. The car left her at 221 Baker Street. As she went to the apartment, she stopped to read a note with Jareth's handwriting attached underneath the knocker. "CRIME IN PROGRESS. PLEASE DISTURB." She ran to her apartment.

"What's going on?" Sarah said as she ran through the open door to 221b. 

Jareth was sitting next to a beaten-up Mrs. Hudson who was sitting on the sofa. The consulting detective was holding a gun in the direction of the fireplace. Sarah turned and saw the leader of the CIA force they met in Adler's home a few months before. He was duct taped to a chair. His nose was broken and he was barely conscious.

"What the hell is happening?" Sarah asked.

"Mrs. Hudson's been attacked by an American. I am putting this into a proper order," Jareth said.

Sarah went over to Mrs. Hudson and began examining the elderly lady's hurts. "Oh, Mrs. Hudson, are you all right? What have they done to you?"

"Oh, I'm just being so silly," Mrs. Hudson said, beginning to cry.

Sarah hugged her landlady. "No, no. You were hurt."

"Downstairs. Take her downstairs and look after her," Jareth said as he dialed a number on his phone.

Sarah helped Mrs. Hudson to her feet. "It's all right. I'll have a look at that."

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Mrs. Hudson said, moving on her own down the stairs. Jareth stood up.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" Sarah asked.

"I expect so. Now go," Jareth said.

Sarah moved quickly down the stairs and found Mrs. Hudson putting on a pot of tea. "Oh good grief. Is that the instinctive reaction of the British or something?" Sarah asked.

Mrs. Hudson sniffled. "I thought you might like a bit of tea. You look shaken, dearie." 

Sarah gave a gentle hug to Mrs. Hudson. "You are such a sweet woman, Mrs. Hudson. I don't understand why you would ever put up with all our problems."

In a few moments, Sarah was applying antiseptic to the cut on Mrs. Hudson's face.

"Oh, it stings," Mrs. Hudson said with a flinch.

"Yeah, sorry about that," Sarah said.

A figure passed the window and smashed on top of the garbage cans, startling Sarah. 

"Oh. That was right on my bins," Mrs. Hudson said.

"And then you say something like that and I remember why the goblins like you," Sarah said with mild horror.

There was an agonized groan from outside. Jareth came down the stairs. 

"Have to deal with the rubbish," Jareth said.

Sarah stepped in front of the door leading outside. "Jareth, I think you have made your point. I would rather not have to explain to Lestrade another dead body."

Jareth leaned close to Sarah. "I am not in the mood to be generous, Sarah."

Sarah stood up straight and glared at her flatmate. "Neither am I. Make sure he won't run away but then do not touch him again."

"Why?" Jareth hissed.

"Because I still believe you are not cruel... most of the time," Sarah said.

Jareth and Sarah stared at each other for a long time before Mrs. Hudson mumbled, "Should have left up the mistletoe."

Jareth broke eye contact and glanced over at Mrs. Hudson, "I think Loki would have been offended, Mrs. Hudson. Fine, Sarah."

"Do make him hurt when you tie him up though," Sarah said.

"With pleasure, precious," Jareth said.

&%&%&%

Lestrade tried to enter 221A but Jareth suddenly pulled him back. "Wipe your feet on the mat," Jareth said.

Lestrade raised an eyebrow but did it anyway. "You're a peculiar Fae."

"I am not a Fae, Inspector," Jareth said. He carefully wiped his feet on the mat before making his way over to the fridge.

"We can post some officers nearby if it would make you feel more comfortable, Mrs. Hudson," Lestrade said.

"I'm fine," Mrs. Hudson said, "I've got my knight in worm eaten armor and my nurse. I couldn't be safer."

As Jareth turned around, his face was turning pink and he avoided eye contact with everyone in the room. Sarah almost laughed, but she was able to catch herself. She did not want Jareth to never show affection to Mrs. Hudson ever again.

"If you say so, Mrs. Hudson. Good night," Lestrade said.

A small amount of pleasantries were exchanged among the humans. Jareth took a bite out of a mince pie he had found in the fridge instead of saying good-bye.

Sarah said, "She'll have to sleep upstairs in our flat tonight. We need to look after her.

"No," Mrs. Hudson said, shaking her head.

"She's fine," Jareth said.

"No, she's not. Look at her. She's got to take some time away from Baker Street. She can go and stay with her sister," Sarah said.

"Don't be absurd," Jareth said. He took another bite of his pie.

"She's in shock, for God's sake, and all over some stupid camera phone. Where is it, anyway?" Sarah said.

"Safest place I know," Jareth said. He wiped some crumbs from his mouth.

Mrs. Hudson pulled the phone out from her bra. "You left it in the pocket of your second-best jacket, you clot. I managed to sneak it out when they thought I was having a cry," Mrs. Hudson laughed at the last part.

"I really need to remember that things are not always as they seem," Sarah said.

Jareth tossed the phone in the air before putting it in his coat pocket. "Thank you, Mrs. Hudson. Shame on you, Sarah Williams."

Sarah looked at Jareth in shock. "Shame on me?"

"Mrs. Hudson leave Baker Street? England would fall," Jareth said. He popped the last bit of pie in his mouth before giving Mrs. Hudson a side hug. Sarah smiled at the content goblin and his landlady who was not his housekeeper.

&%&%&%

Sarah made two cups of hot chocolate. Jareth was at the piano playing scales mindlessly. She put the mug on top of a stack of music for Jareth to have later.

"Where is it now?" Sarah asked.

"Where no one will look," Jareth said.

"Whatever is on that phone is more than just pictures," Sarah said.

"You are correct. What it is, I do not know," Jareth said.

Jareth played a bit of "Scarborough Fair".

"So, she's alive then. How are you feeling about that?" Sarah asked.

Bells chimed outside. "Happy New Year, Sarah.” Jareth began playing "Auld Lang Sayne" on the piano.

On impulse, Sarah kissed Jareth on his right cheek, causing him to stumble over a few notes. "Happy New Year, Jareth." She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and quietly sang in the New Year with him.

&%&%&%

Several days later, Sarah returned from work with some groceries. "Jareth, I got the milk. You need to get it sometimes too."

Jareth was standing outside his room, very still.

"Jareth? What's wrong?" Sarah asked.

"We have a client," Jareth said.

Sarah walked cautiously behind Jareth. "In your bedroom? Oh."

A worn out, dirty Irene Adler was asleep on Jareth's bead. Feeling shallow, Sarah noted that Irene was wearing clothes that were obviously cheap. Sarah turned and walked back to the kitchen. "I am getting a shower before her and you're putting up the groceries, Jareth."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much the only person not shipping Jareth/Sarah at this point is Sarah.


	8. Chapter VIII: Winners and Losers

There are many ways to wake up a person. A kiss on the cheek from a lover. An annoying alarm. A knife at one's throat. Jareth decided to wake Irene in a much simpler way - dumping a bucket of water on her.

Irene sat up, spitting water out of her mouth.

"Rise and shine," Jareth said.

Irene glared at him. "Morning, goblin."

"It's actually afternoon now. Sarah is going to be out of the shower in a few minutes. Would you like some tea? I promise I have not drugged either the refreshments or the biscuits," Jareth said.

"You know, you just soaked your bed," Irene said.

"I am going to have to clean the sheets anyway," Jareth said, "You do rather smell. How long have you just been running to stay alive?"

Irene got out of the bed and shrugged. "A few days."

"I'll find you something to wear. We'll have those things washed," Jareth said. He left the room. "Tea is in the kitchen."

"Where are you going?" Irene asked.

"I have to make sure you were not followed," Jareth said.

&%&%&%

It had probably been the Christmas party since 221b had been in such awkward silence. Irene was sitting in Jareth's chair, wearing Sarah's clothes which were far too large for her. Sarah was drinking her tea with more aggression than Jareth had seen in someone who was not British. Jareth was leaning back on the dining room chair, not at ease with having Irene in the apartment. 

"Who is after you?" Jareth finally asked.

"People who want to kill me," Irene said, not looking at Jareth.

"Who's that?" Jareth asked.

"Killers," Irene said, with a glint of defiance in her eyes.

"It would help if you were a tiny bit more specific," Sarah said.

"You faked your own death in order to get ahead of them," Jareth said.

"It worked for a while," Irene said.

"Except you let Sarah know that you were alive, and therefore me," Jareth said.

"I knew you'd keep my secret," Irene said.

"You couldn't," Jareth said.

Irene finally looked at Jareth. "But you did, didn't you? Where's my camera phone?"

"It's not here. We're not stupid," Sarah said.

"Then what have you done with it? If they've guessed you've got it, they'll be watching you," Irene said, glancing over to Sarah.

"If they have been watching me, they will know that I took a safety deposit box at a bank on the Strand a few months ago," Jareth said.

"I need it," Irene said.

"Well, we can't just go and get it, can we?" Sarah said. A spark of an idea caught in Sarah's mind. "Molly Hooper. She could collect it and take it to Bart's. Then one of your homeless network could bring it here, leave it in the cafe, and one of the boys downstairs could bring it up the back."

Jareth gave a smirk that showed no teeth before speaking. "Very good, Sarah. An excellent plan with intelligent precautions."

"Thank you. I'll just text Molly and... you are an idiot, Jareth."

Jareth pulled out the camera phone from his pocket. "So what do you keep on here, generally? Is it all similar to your journal?"

"Yes. Pictures, information, anything I might find useful," Irene said.

"For blackmail?" Sarah asked.

"For protection. I make my way in the world; I misbehave. I like to know people will be on my side exactly when I need them to be," Irene said.

"But you've acquired something that's more danger than protection. Do you know what it is?" Jareth asked.  
  
"Yes, but I don't understand it," Irene said.

"I assumed. Just like the case with the Bohemian Fae prince. Show me," Jareth said.

Irene stood up and held out her hand for the phone. Jareth kept the phone away from her until Irene leaned over him. "Give it to me, Jareth. I have things on you that would embarrass you in front of your little pet," Irene whispered.

Jareth sighed and handed the phone over. Irene quickly typed the password but the phone beeped a warning instead. "It's not working."

With a smooth movement, Jareth took the phone from Irene's hand. "No, because it is a duplicate that I had made, into which you have just entered the numbers one zero five eight." Jareth took the real phone out from under the cushion Irene had just been sitting on. "I had assumed you would choose something more specific than that but my thanks anyway."

Jareth typed in the code in the real phone. The phone beeped a warning. Irene smiled.

"I told you that camera phone was my life. I know when it's in my hand," Irene said.

Jareth smiled slightly. "You are rather good with these things. I forget it sometimes."

Irene took the phone. "You're not so bad from what I remember."

The two looked at each other, remembering things that had happened a long time ago and the possibility of things that could happen. 

"Jane," Sarah said abruptly.

The two Fair Folk looked at Sarah in confusion.

"Sarah Jane Williams. If you're looking for baby names," Sarah said, "And yes Jareth, I am named after Sarah Jane Smith."

Jareth shook his head for a moment, glad to no longer be stuck in a useless line of thinking.

"There was a man – an MOD official. I knew what he liked," Irene said. She walked far enough away that the consulting detective and his assistant that they could not see the password. "One of the things he liked was showing off. He told me this email was going to save the world. He didn't know it, but I photographed it." She handed the phone to Jareth "He was a bit tied up at the time. It's a bit small on that screen. Can you read it?"

Jareth sat down and looked over the seemingly random letters. 

"A code, obviously. I had one of the best cryptographers in the country take a look at it – though he was mostly upside down, as I recall. Couldn't figure it out," Irene said. She leaned over Jareth's shoulder and whispered in his ear, "Can you solve my puzzle, Jareth?"

Jareth shrugged Irene off him. "I do need a little room to think, Irene."

Sarah put down her mug. "Have fun with that. I am going to go with Mrs. Hudson out to tea before the CIA decides to come around again. Don't leave too much of a mess this time."

Jareth glanced over the code, wanting Sarah to stay a little longer. He said, "There is a margin for error but I am pretty sure there is a Seven Forty-Seven leaving Heathrow tomorrow at six thirty in the evening for Baltimore. Apparently it is going to save the world. I am not sure how that can be true, but give me a moment. I have only been on the case for half a minute."

Sarah spun around and sputtered. Irene looked down at Jareth, mildly impressed.

Jareth decided to explain. "It's not code. These are seat allocations on a passenger jet. There's no letter 'I' because it can be mistaken for a '1'; no letters past 'K' due to the width of the plane. The numbers always appear randomly and not in sequence, but the letters have little runs of sequence all over the place representing families and couples sitting together." Jareth stood up and paced the living room. "Only a Jumbo is wide enough to need the letter 'K' or rows past fifty-five, which is why there is always an upstairs. There is a row thirteen, which eliminates the more superstitious airlines. Then there is the style of the flight number – zero zero seven – that eliminates a few more; and assuming a British point of origin, which would be logical considering the original source of the information and assuming from the increased pressure on you lately that the crisis is imminent, the only flight that matches all the criteria and departs within the week is the six thirty to Baltimore tomorrow evening from Heathrow Airport."

Irene and Sarah both stared at him, processing the information. He said dryly. "Please do not feel obliged to tell me that was remarkable or amazing. Just because most people are impressed by my skills of deduction..."

"I think I'll check the flight schedules first before we make that leap," Sarah said, "You have been wrong before and this is an area of expertise you have not really discussed."

"Oh, please do. I might be off by a few minutes," Jareth said.

Irene walked over to where Jareth was standing. "You miss it, don't you?"

"Miss what?" Jareth asked.

"Flying," Irene said, "That's why you know about the flights."

Sarah looked up from her computer for a moment and Jareth saw a glimpse of pain run through Sarah's eyes. It quickly disappeared when she checked the computer again.

"You're right. Flight double O seven."

"What did you say?" Jareth asked. Something Sarah said sounded familiar.

"You're right," Sarah said with a sigh.

"No, no, no, after that. What did you say after that?" Jareth said.

"Double O seven. Flight double O seven," Sarah said, "You know, like the Bond films. We saw _Goldfinger, The Living Daylights,_ and _Casino Royale_ with Molly when she camped out here with us."

Jareth shook his head. "It's something else... Something that was said... here. 'Bond Air is go. Check with the Coventry lot.'"

&%&%&%

Jareth searched through his rather extensive memory, trying to remember why the word "Coventry" was important. He played scales on the piano and snippets of songs. "It's a story," he said a few hours later.

"I like stories. What's this one about?" Irene asked.

Jareth looked around and realized that it was night and only Irene was in the apartment. "Where's Sarah?"

"She went out a couple of hours ago," Irene said.

"Where?" Jareth asked.

"With Mrs. Hudson for dinner," Irene said, "What is the story?"

"Coventry. It is a story which probably is not true. In the Second World War, the Allies knew that Coventry was going to get bombed because they had broken the German code but they did not want the Germans to know that they had broken the code, so they let it happen anyway."

"When was the last time you had someone?" Irene asked.

Jareth raised an eyebrow. "Why does it matter to you?"

"I want to know if there is a reason why you haven't had your pet yet," Irene said.

"She is not my pet, Irene. Sarah is Sarah and I will do nothing to harm that," Jareth said.

Irene moved to the piano. "Why ever not? It's not because of the Words, is it?"

"Not just that," Jareth said, "It's something you wouldn't understand."

"Love? You?" Irene asked, "Doubtful, Jareth. I've known you for a long time and..."

"But not recently. I still do not see how this concerns you."

Irene played a few notes on the piano. "We used to be friends."

"We used to be a lot of things." Jareth stopped Irene from touching his piano.

"I will not apologize for what I did."

"I will not apologize either."

Irene looked out the window for a few moments before returning her attention to Jareth. "She isn't like the other girls. She is too... unimpressed by you. You like girls who are wonderstruck."

Jareth shrugged. "Those girls didn't look for wonders. Sarah does. She sees me for what I am."

"Which is?"

"Uninteresting and unimportant. Everyone else views me as a threat or as a source of power. Sarah sees me as neither. I am... allowed to be myself. Well, what little of myself there is."

"Oh, she sees a lot in you. You just don't realize it yet."

Jareth played the next few scales with a particular forcefulness that would have broken the keys on older piano models.

"Did you ever get my texts?" Irene asked.

"You were rather concerned about 'dinner'. You do not have to be so _delicate_ with me."

"Well, men generally do not understand subtle, but you can if you bother to." Irene took Jareth's hands in her own. "If it was the end of the world, if this was the very last night, would you have dinner with me?"

"Jareth!" Mrs. Hudson called from downstairs.

"Too late," Irene sighed.

Jareth rolled his eyes. "That is not the end of the world; that is Mrs. Hudson."

Irene let go of Jareth's hands and moved away.

Mrs. Hudson came up the stairs with Sarah and the guard that had brought Jareth to Buckingham Palace. "Jareth, this man was at the door. Is the bell still not working?"

Sarah said, "He threw a knife at it."

"Have you come to take me away again?" Jareth asked.

"Yes, Mr. King," the man said.

"Well, I decline," Jareth said with a wave of his hand.

The man took an envelope out of his pocket and held it out to Jareth. "I don't think you do."

Sarah took the envelope and handed it to Jareth. "It's a plane ticket. How theatrical, Mycroft," Jareth said.

Jareth went to put on his coat and found himself unexpectedly helped by Sarah. "What does Mycroft want?" Sarah asked as she smoothed the coat at Jareth's shoulders.

"There's going to be a bomb on a passenger jet. The British and American governments know about it but rather than expose the source of that information they're going to let it happen. The plane will blow up. Coventry all over again. The wheel turns. Nothing is ever new," Jareth said.

"God, that's terrible," Sarah said.

Jareth turned around and tied his scarf around his neck. "I will only be a little bit. Don't wait up."

"Okay," Sarah said, "Come back safe."

Jareth nodded to Sarah and left.

&%&%&%

Jareth was driven straight to the 747. At the foot of the moving stairway was the head of the CIA team that Jareth had beaten up. "Sarah really should have let me kill you. How are you feeling?"

"Like putting a bullet in your brain ... sir. They'd pin a medal on me if I did .. Sir," the man said.

Jareth shrugged. "Most likely."

Jareth moved up the steps and walked through the plane. He realized that there were dead people sitting in all the seats. Men. Women. Children. All looked like they were waiting for the plane to take off.

"The Coventry conundrum." Jareth turned around and saw Mycroft Holmes walking towards him. "What do you think of my solution? The flight of the dead."

Jareth looked around for a moment before answering. "The plane blows up mid-air. Mission accomplished for the terrorists. Hundreds of casualties, but nobody dies."

"Neat, don't you think? You've been stumbling round the fringes of this one for ages or were you too bored to notice the pattern?" Mycroft asked.

Jareth flashed back to cases over the past several months of people saying that family members' bodies had disappeared. The case he was unable to solve of a man stuffed into the boot of a car that supposedly died the day before in a German plane explosion. The clues had been everywhere.

"We ran a similar project with the Germans a while back, though I believe one of our passengers didn't make the flight. But that's the deceased for you - late, in every sense of the word."

"Unmanned aircraft, I assume," Jareth said, "Brilliant idea. Hardly new, but still brilliant. Safe flying. I am going to go back home."

"It doesn't fly. It will never fly. This entire project is canceled. The terrorist cells have been informed that we know about the bomb. We can't fool them now. We've lost everything. One fragment of one email, and months and years of planning finished."

"Your MOD man."

"That's all it takes: one lonely naive man desperate to show off, and a woman clever enough to make him feel special."

Jareth shrugged, uninterested since the mystery was solved. "You should screen your defense people more carefully."

"I'm not talking about the MOD man, Jareth; I'm talking about you," Mycroft said far louder than he had intended.

Jareth blinked several times. "What?"

Mycroft regained his regular, cool demeanor. "The damsel in distress. I did not believe Sarah for a long time, but you really don't want to be just the villain. You do sometimes want to be the hero. Everything was there: you would be able to save the woman who humiliated you years ago, impress the girl you love, and then give you a puzzle and they would watch you dance."

Jareth straightened himself and took on the airs that he had learned as the Goblin King. "Don't be absurd."

"Absurd? How quickly did you decipher that email for her? Was it the full minute, or were you really eager to impress?"

"Oh, he didn't decipher it for me. He did it for his pet. I think it was less than five seconds for her," Irene said.

Jareth turned around. Irene was dressed beautifully and her hair and make-up were perfect. This was the Irene that Jareth had known for almost his entire life. She was cool, calculating, intelligent, so unbearably perfect and untouchable, making her even more desirable for someone always looking for a challenge. 

"I drove you into her path. I'm sorry. I didn't know she would have that much power over you," Mycroft said.

Irene walked towards Jareth. "I think it is safe to say that I won our games, Jareth."

"It has never been a game, Irene," Jareth said.

"Says the loser," Irene said. She shifted her focus to Mycroft. "There's more ... loads more. On this phone I've got secrets, pictures and scandals that could topple your whole world. You have no idea how much havoc I can cause and exactly one way to stop me – unless you want to tell your masters that your biggest security leak is your friend that you swore would only help the government and not destroy it. This is why you don't ever trust a goblin."

Mycroft did not look Irene or Jareth in the eye. "I am afraid you are right, Ms. Adler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *headbang* I really hope I did not ruin anyone's characterization in this chapter. I feel all wibbly wobbly on the characterization in this chapter.
> 
> A note on pianos: Beethoven was known for breaking piano keys because of how hard he hit the notes when he played his music. My Mother (a music major) was able to play one of the pianos Beethoven used and she said that it really would not take that much to break the keys. *shrug* The more you know...


	9. Chapter IX: You Remind Me of the Babe

Sarah was preparing another pot of tea. Jareth had been taken by some of Mycroft's goons. Irene had long left 221b Baker Street. It was three in the morning and Jareth had yet to come back. Sarah was uneasy. Mycroft generally informed Sarah if Jareth was going to be long on a case for the "government".

As Sarah put the pot of tea on the table, she heard the front door. She grabbed another mug and set it on the table, preparing Jareth a cup of tea. 

"Jareth, was Mr. Umbrella being long-winded again or did you go off to a stag party or something?" Sarah asked jokingly. 

Sarah turned around and instantly regretted trying to make a joke. Jareth was standing in the living, his face haggard. His eyes scared her. She had never seen him look so lost.

"Jareth, what happened?" Sarah asked.

Without a word, Jareth walked over to Sarah, fell to his knees, and wrapped his arms around her waist. He kissed her stomach. "I need a minute, precious."

Sarah put a hand on Jareth's upper back and the other in his hair. "I will give you all the time you need."

Jareth breathed quietly and stroked Sarah's lower back. Sarah petted Jareth's hair, unsure of what else to do. She just knew that Jareth would break if she moved away.

"Do you want to know a secret, Sarah?" Jareth asked.

"Only if you want to tell it," Sarah said.

Jareth looked up at Sarah and placed one of her hands over his heart. "The words you said, 'You have no power over me' is not how you defeat the Labyrinth. You must complete the Labyrinth and discover that life is not fair. Do you know what the words are for? To defeat the Goblin King. Only an equal of the Goblin King can remove the ruler from the throne. Your will was not only as strong as mine, but your kingdom is great."

"I don't have a kingdom and I don't have power. How..."

"You are the babe with the power, Sarah," Jareth said, "Symbolism, precious. A spouse will either make or destroy a person. I should have viewed you as good but... I had become wary of any who had power over me unless I could have power over them as well. I was... wrong, Sarah. I shouldn't have blamed you. I shouldn't have tried to bully you into staying with me. I didn't understand the pain of such a power play until... until now, precious. I am sorry."

"Jareth what happened?"

Jareth pressed Sarah's hand tighter against his chest. "I am worse than your mother. She at least has the decency to stay away from you."

Sarah got on her knees and held Jareth's face in her hands. "You are not that cruel. You are forgiven for any hurts you have caused me. What happened? Who hurt you? What can I do?"

Jareth was very quiet as he spoke. "I sentenced Irene Adler to death. I figured out the code and... she won't live the month. Mycroft certainly is not going to help her. I didn't realize how much I still cared for her and yet... I know that she has made her choices and I have made mine. The world will be a little safer now, but a little less interesting as well."

Sarah kissed Jareth's forehead. "I am sorry for your loss, Jareth."

Jareth nodded and pulled away from Sarah. He took off his coat and rolled it up on the floor. He laid down using his coat as a pillow. "I think I will just stay here, precious."

Sarah laid down with Jareth, resting her head against his heart. "Do you mind if I stay with you?"

"You may always stay with me, precious," Jareth said.

&%&%&%

Sarah had been caught in the rain when she had gone out on her run. She made her way back to Baker Street, cutting her run short. As she made it closer to 221, she saw Mycroft standing outside Speedy's, smoking a cigarette. Sarah stopped in front of Mycroft.

"You don't...smoke," Sarah said, panting.

"I also don't frequent cafes," Mycroft said. He dropped the cigarette and stomped it. He closed his umbrella, picked up his briefcase and went into Speedy's cafe. 

In the cafe, Mycroft ordered a mug of tea and Sarah had water. Mycroft placed a file on the table that said "RESTRICTED ACCESS – CONFIDENTIAL". Opening the file, Irene's camera phone was on top of several documents.

"This the file on Irene Adler?" Sarah said.

"Closed forever. I am about to go and inform Jareth – or, if you prefer, you are – that she somehow got herself into a witness protection scheme in America. New name, new identity. She will survive and thrive, but he will never see her again," Mycroft said.

"Why would he care?" Sarah lied, "He never wanted to see her again."

"Jareth is... sentimental. I cannot begin to claim I know Jareth the best, but of the two of us, I have known him the longest. He misses the Underground. It is a long story, but Ms. Adler was an ally to Jareth and a powerful one at that. At one point, she was even friends with Jareth's sister and brother-in-law. Losing her is another connection lost to the Underground that he will never regain again."

Sarah nodded. "He'll be okay with the witness protection, never seeing her again. He'll be fine."

"I agree." Mycroft took a deep breath. "That's why I decided to tell him that."

Sarah froze. "Instead of what?"

"She's dead. She was captured by a terrorist cell in Karachi two months ago and beheaded," Mycroft said.

Sarah covered her mouth and closed her eyes. She focused on breathing for a few moments before speaking. "It's definitely her? She's done this before."

"I was thorough...this time. Jareth isn't clever enough to fool me that much. Besides, he was at Baker Street when Ms. Adler was killed."

They looked at each other, a mutual sense of pain for Jareth.

Mycroft spoke and slide the file to Sarah. "So... what should we tell our friend?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was never a huge Mycroft fan until I started writing this series. Writing him made me realize that he does have character depth in the actual series. I really have enjoyed writing him.


	10. Chapter X: Because That's the Way It's Done

Jareth was in the kitchen, examining a skin sample when he heard Sarah coming up the stairs. Before she entered the kitchen, Jareth spoke. "Clearly you have news. If it is about the Leeds triple murder, it was the gardener. Nobody noticed the earring."

Sarah stood next to Jareth and gently touched his shoulder. "It's about Irene Adler."

Jareth looked up at Sarah. She was holding a file and a plastic bag that had Irene Adler's phone. "Oh? Has something happened? Has she come back to annoy us some more?"

Sarah avoided eye contact. "No, she's... I just bumped into Mycroft downstairs. He had to take a call."

"Sarah, is Irene back in London?" Jareth asked.

Sarah said, "No. She's... she's in... Jareth, she's dead. She was captured by a terrorist cell in Karachi two months ago "

Jareth did not say anything. Sarah kissed Jareth's left cheek. "I'm sorry, Jareth."

Jareth leaned forward and went back to his microscope. "It was not as if you were responsible, Sarah. Are you not keeping those files?"

"Uh, no. I was just gonna take it back to Mycroft." She held out the file. "Do you want to..."

"No."

"Jareth, if you need..."

"I will have the camera phone, though," Jareth said, holding out hand.

"There's nothing on it any more. It's been stripped."

"I know, but I... I would still have it."

"It's evidence, Jareth. I've got to give this back to Mycroft. You can't keep it."

Jareth looked up. "Please."

Sarah looked at him and there was a look on her face that Jareth had not seen before and he could not identify. She handed the phone to him without any more argument.

"Thank you," Jareth said.

"I'll just go to take this back," Sarah said. "Did she ever text you again, after... everything?"

"Once, a few months ago."

"What did she say?"

"Goodbye, Jareth."

Sarah left quietly. Once Jareth heard Sarah reach the bottom steps, he went to the living room to grab his phone. He looked through the texts Irene had sent him. Jareth paused at the last one for a moment. He switched to another set of texts on his phone. 

"Got some chatter on you-know-who. SH."

"And?"

"Not good. SH."

"You want to help? SH."

"No."

"Oh. SH."

"You should. SH."

"Why?"

"Because that's the way it's done. SH."

"You still there? SH."

"Yes."

"You will help? SH."

"Not exactly."

"What do you mean by that? SH."

"Oh. SH."

"You want me to help. SH."

"Yes."

"On flight. SH."

"Back. Package acquired. SH."

Jareth slipped his phone back into his pocket. He gave a goblin grin. "Sarah is right. Maybe I do have a knight-complex."

&%&%&%

"Jareth... what happened to your hair?" Sarah asked when she returned from her morning run. Jareth was standing in the middle of the living room, his hair considerably shorter.

"Um... well... I felt the need for a change," Jareth said. He patted his shortened hair, still trying to grasp how short his hair was. "Does it look like a hack job? Mrs. Hudson was over the moon when I told her she could cut it and..."

Sarah walked over to where Jareth stood and playfully ruffled his hair. "I can still mess with it. I like it. You _almost_ look respectable. The glitter is still there so I don't think that will ever be an issue."

Jareth smiled slightly. "Thank you, Sarah."

Sarah smiled back. "I need to shower. I would rather not smell like a bunch of goblins for the rest of the day."

Jareth moved so he could watch Sarah enter the bathroom while being as close to the entrance of 221b as possible. A bucket of glitter dumped onto Sarah's head when she opened the bathroom door.

"JARETH YOU BLEACH GLITTER BOMB! I WILL END YOU!" Sarah shouted.

Jareth was already out of the apartment and halfway down Baker Street. 

_Respectable. HA!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to blame this post (http://fargreencountryswiftsunrise.tumblr.com/post/49991095409/somnium-in-somnium-katarina-elaine) and GallifreyanOceanSoul on D.A. (http://gallifreyanoceansoul.deviantart.com/) for cutting Jareth's hair. I was planning on doing it later in the series (with this era of Bowie in mind), but these lovely people made me realize that I really no longer had a reason for Jareth's hair being long when it was not very practical for the job he does.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Now, onto the next chapter of our dynamic duo in "Of Nightmares and Kinsmen" a.k.a. "The Hounds of Baskerville" which should be out by the end of June.


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